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mental floss雜誌《全球最有膽量的領袖們》封面與內文《圓滑的重要--台灣總統馬英九》之全文翻譯
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GAIL
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幕影
筆記阿本
文俠隱
張爺
Chocola

歡迎轉貼!但請註明是Gail翻譯的,因為其中有2/3內容是「手動打字」上去的,非常辛苦。另外1/3是靠線上文字辨識軟體。http://briian.com/?p=6369

謝謝我的朋友們與敵手的建議批評,讓這文在「語意屍骸」上熠熠生輝!

我可敬的朋友們的溫情,容我再次致敬!

The World's Gutsiest Leaders

全球最有膽量的領袖們

This is the story of five unlikely leaders-a handful of women and men who inherited giant crises and had the courage to make difficult and unpopular decisions.

這是五位成功無望的領袖的故事--是繼承了巨大危機的男男女女裡的一小撮人,並且有勇氣做成困難且不得人心的決定。

They aren't all saints,but their actions have changeed their nation.

他們不聖人,但他們的作為改變了他們國家。

Moreover,these changes will affect your life.

更甚者,這些改變也將要影響你的人生。

After all, if the current global economic meltdown has taught us anything.

畢竟,如果當前全球性經濟崩潰曾經教導了我們什麼事的話……

It's that we're all in together.

那就是我們全都在一起。

If that we're going to climb out,we have to learn from those around us and build on their accomplishments.

如果我們想要爬出(這個經濟困境),我們必須從那些切身的事物去學習,並且建立在他們的成就之上。

The Importance of Tact

Ma Ying-jeou

PRESIDENT OF TAIWAN

圓滑的重要--台灣總統馬英九

The recent global downturn has darkened economic forecasts around the world,but in Taiwan,it nearly blotted out the sun.Last February,The Economist called the country's financial forecast "the ugliest of them all".

正當全球經濟情勢持續下滑一片昏黑之時,然而在台灣,這幾乎遮住了太陽。去年二月,經濟學家聲稱這個國家的經融趨勢預測「全部都非常難看」!

Producing about 70 percent of the world's laptops and PDAs and 12 percent of its cell phones,Taiwan relies on the West to buy its high-tech gadgets.Unfortunately,Americans haven't been spending a lot of time at Best Buy lately.

這國家生產了全世界大約70%的筆記型電腦與掌上型電腦以及12%的手機,台灣依賴西岸購買他們的高科技機械,不幸地,近來美國人並沒有在「百思買」裡花費大量時間,

In the past few mouths,however,Taiwan's prospects have started to look rosies,thanks in large part to the counter's new president,Ma Ying-jeou.How is he saving the country?Be Being the world's best marriage counselor.

然而在過去的幾個月裡,台灣的前途開始看來很樂觀,很大的因素要感謝這位新總統馬英九!他是如何拯救這個國家的呢?藉由一場全世界最棒的婚姻仲介………

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

TAIWAN AND CHINA--THE AWKWARD COUPLE

台灣與中國--相處不好的一對

Technically speaking, Taiwan is a part of China, but in reality, they are two separate countries with two separate identities.

從學術上說,台灣是中國的一部份,但真實情況是,他們是兩個分開的國家擁有兩種分開的身份。

And, until recently they rarely talked to each other.

並且,直到最近他們才真正地互相對話。

Although he was successful in driving out the Japanese during World War II,

雖然二戰時他成功地驅趕日本人,

General Chiang Kai-sheklost the Chinese Civil War to the internal communist forces in 1949. He then fled to Taiwan, a Chinese island 100 miles off the coast. Vowing to reclaim the mainland.

統帥蔣介石卻輸給了國內的共產黨軍隊,在1949的中國內戰中。然後他逃到台灣,距離海岸有100英里遠的一個中國島嶼,並且發誓要取回大陸。

Chiang Kai-shek and his band of nationalists set up a military dictatorship in Taiwan, and the island remained in a state of perpetual (if stable) martial law until 1987.

蔣介石和他那富有民族主義色彩的軍隊在台灣建立了軍事獨裁政權,並且這個島嶼維持這樣的永久軍事戒嚴法狀態(如果它夠穩固的話)直至1987年。

For nearly half a century capitalist Taiwan (the Republic of China) and communist China (the Peoples Republic of China) had virtually no diplomatic relations,

而將近半世紀,資本主義台灣(ROC)與共產主義中國(PRC),實際上沒有外交關係。

and travel between the two countries was strictly forbidden.

而兩國之間的旅行是嚴厲被禁止的。

The nations had separated but refused to reconcile or get divorced.

這個國家被分裂,並且,拒絕和解或者離婚。

After all, reconciliation would mean one nation giving in to the other, and divorce would lead to all-out war.

畢竟,調解意味著一個國家奉獻給另一個,而離婚將導致全面戰爭。

Even now, China has hundreds of missiles pointed at Taiwan,which they threaten to launch should Taiwan declare independence.

即便是現在,中國仍有數百個飛彈彈頭瞄準台灣,而他們威脅,萬一台灣宣佈獨立的話,這些飛彈將會發射。

In case you were won- dering how this affects the United States, the American government has sworn to profect Taiwan in the event of an invasion.

假使你很納悶,這事件對美國政府影響到底有多大,美國政府發誓要保護台灣,萬一台灣被侵略的話。

If they go to war. we would probably go along with them.

一旦他們開戰,可能我們必須參與其中。

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Months before his death in 1988,Taiwan's last dictator,Chiang Kai-shek's son Chiang Ching-kuo,allowed the nation to become a democracy.It was at this time that Ma Ying-jeou,the future president,first made his mark on the international scene.

在1988年他過世前的幾個月,這位台灣最後的獨裁者,蔣介石的兒子蔣經國,允許讓這個國家走向民主。也在同一時間,馬英九,這位未來總統,首次在國際舞台被注意到。

Ma came from one of the families that had followed General Chiang Kai-shek to Taiwan,and Ma's father had decided that his only son's life would have national purpose.The expectation were great.Ma was forced to study Chinese classics after school every day,and pressured to perfect his calligraphy.Ma's father also made him run daily to rid him of any laziness.

馬來自於一個跟隨統帥蔣介石來台的家庭,馬的父親決定讓他唯一的兒子的一生獻給國家。這是個偉大的期望!馬被迫每天在放學後讀中國古典文學,並被強壓著熟練書法。馬的父親讓他每天沒有一絲一毫的怠惰。

While Ma hated every minute of it,the experience did instill a certain discipline.He obtained a law degree from NYU and a doctorate from Harvard before returing to Taiwan to teach.There,at age 37,Ma became the former dictator's protege.The two shared a deeply held desire to reunite China and Taiwan under the banner of democracy.

當時馬無時無刻不痛恨這些(訓練),這些經驗確實灌輸了一種準確紀律。在他返回台灣教書之前,他在紐約大學獲得法律學位在哈佛得到博士學位。那時他37歲,馬變成了前任獨裁者的門徒。這兩人分享著想將中國與台灣統一在民主旗幟之下的深刻執著渴望。

Ma Knew that the first step was getting the two nations on speaking terms again.Using his legal expertise,he drafted what would become known as the "1992 Consensus",a masterpiece of diplomatic ambiguity.It declared there to be only "one China",but let both countries interpret the phrase however they pleased.The flexibleagreement opened up a dialogue with China that led to increased commerce between the two nations.It also helpd Ma gain a reputation as a savvy politician,which along with his general handsomeness,got him elected mayor of Taipei in 1998. (In a poll of Taipei women,asking which public figure they would most like to father their children,Ma was the resounding winner.)

馬知道第一件事是讓兩國重新友好。他使用他的法律專業,草擬了一份眾所周知的「九二共識」,那是集結所有外交曖昧詞句的名著!它公告說「世上只有一 個中國」,但兩個國家可依自己需要作各自表述。這份靈活的協議打開了與中國對話之門,增進了兩個國家的經貿往來。它同時也讓馬得到了機智政客的評價,就如 同他那張俊俏的臉,讓他1998年選上台北市長。(在台北女人的民調中,問她們哪位公眾人物她們希望他成為自己孩子的父親,馬遠遠領先其他人。)

Yet,mending fences with China would not prove simple.Ever since Taiwan became a democracy in 1987,there has been a sizable political movement to break away entirely.

至今,與中國修補籬笆的工作被證明了沒那麼容易。自從1987年台灣走向民主以來,那裡有一個相當規模的政治運動(將威權)徹底地打破。

After all,Taiwan is an open society that believes in free speech and civil liberties.

畢竟,台灣是個開放社會,相信自由對話與公民自由。

China,in spite of all its economic gains,is still rife with human rights violations,from Hong Kong to Tibet.

而中國,儘管經濟成就巨大,它(內部)的人權遭受侵犯仍然非常盛行,從香港到圖博。

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In 2000, Taiwan elected a pro-independence president, Chen Shui-bian, and diplomacy with China took a nosedive.

2000年台灣選出一個贊成獨立的總統陳水扁,中國的外交政策因此跌了一鼻子灰。

Both countries began saber-rattling and imposing financial restrictions on one another.

兩個國家都開始武力叫囂,並且對於另一國增設金融限制。

Their relationship took a turn for the ridiculous in 2005, when China offered Taiwan a goodwill gift of two pandas named Tuantuan and YuanYuan—a play on the Chinese word for reunion, Taiwan officially rejected them.

2005年的一件荒謬事情讓他們的關係出現了轉圜,當中國贈與了台灣兩隻熊貓團團圓圓,作為表示善意的禮物,在中文裡為「統一」的雙關語,台灣官方拒絕了他們。

As trade between the two countries waned,Taiwan's economy grew sluggish. Taiwan's ties with the United States also became strained because the American government didn't want to be dragged into a conflict with China.

當兩國之間的貿易衰退,台灣的經濟也發展遲緩。台灣與美國的關係變得緊張,因為美國政府並不想要在這個台灣與中國的鬥爭中被動地陷入泥淖。

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Reunited,and it feels so good

統一,它的感覺如此美好………

On March 22,2008,Ma Ying-jeou was elected president of Taiwan by a wide margin,after campaigning on the idea of a "Great China market".Modeled after the European Union,it would allow the free movement of goods and capital and encourage tourism between nations.

2008年三月22日,馬英九在總統大選中全面獲勝,在經歷過一場基於「大中國市場」主張的戰役之後。它效法歐洲共同體,允許貨物及資金自由流通,鼓勵國家間的旅遊。

In his inauguration speech,Ma reaffirmed his belief in the fantastically vague concept of "one China",and Taiwan's relationship with China improved almost immediately.

在他的就職演說裡,馬重申他的信念--那個空泛模糊曖昧的「一個中國」概念,而台灣與中國的關係立即改善。

Ma was able to sign a series of agreements that increased trade and investment across the Taiwan Strait,opening up vital parts of Taiwan's service and manufacturing sectors to Chinese investor.

馬能夠簽訂一連串的協議,增進台灣海峽間的貿易與投資,對中國投資者開啟台灣服務業與製造業重要的那一扇門。

Even more dramatically,Ma passed legislation to make air travel between the nations possible.

甚至,顯著地,馬通過立法,讓兩個國家間的直航成為可能。

On July 4,2008,a commercial airplane brought passengers directly from China to Taiwan for the first time in nearly 60 years.

2008年七月4日,商業客機直接從中國帶來旅客,這是將近六十年來的第一次。

Now about 3,000 Chinese tourists arrive to invade Taipei's shopping malls each day.

現在每天大約有3000名中國旅客蜂擁而至台北的購物中心。

Also When China offered Taiwan the pandas Tuantuan and Yuanyuan agian,President Ma gladly accepted them.

並且,當中國再度贈與台灣雄貓團團圓圓時,總統馬英九很高興地接受。

Improved relations with China have also translated into improved relations with the United States. Now that China and Taiwan as a safe place to invest their money.

改善與中國的關係也可以說成是改善與美國的關係,現在中國與台灣就像是可以去投資的安全地方。

Unfortunately,Ma assumed office just as his country began to fell the effects of the global economic downturn.(In the first quarter of 2009,Taiwan's economy shrank by a record 10.2 percent from a year earlier.)

但不幸地,馬上任後,他的國家卻受到全球經濟下滑的影響(2009年第一季,台灣的經濟比去年收縮了10.2%)。

But many economists believe that,with money pouring in from both China and the United States,Taiwan maybe on the road to recovery.

但是許多經濟學家相信,只要金錢同時從中國與美國流進來,台灣可以邁向復甦之路。

Will Ma dream come ture?Will China and Taiwan ever reunite under the banner of democracy?Many foreign affairs experts would tell Ma to keep dreaming.

馬的夢想將要成真了嗎?台灣與中國將要統一在民主旗幟之下了嗎?許多外交事物專家會告訴馬--繼續作夢吧!

But 25 year ago,these two countries weren't talking at all; and today, they're giving each other pandas.Anything is possible.

但25年前,這兩個國家絲毫沒有對話,然而今天,他們互贈雄貓。任何事都是可能的………



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引用
引用網址:https://city.udn.com/forum/trackback.jsp?no=57666&aid=3614259
引用者清單(3)
2009/09/22 01:00 【尋王之盟】 "Metal floss"2009年新書 (笑一個)
2009/09/20 06:18 【尋王之盟】 在"But"之前與之後,mental floss怎麼褒貶馬英九
2009/09/15 21:20 【尋王之盟】 一日三行讀大中的趣味
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神佛院二牛(A版)
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Lohengrin

{本欄}.

引用文章神佛院二牛(A版)

2009/09/20 23:17

###################################

牛五跟老師強辯,說老師一直裝呆,一直假裝沒看到洋人在罵小英。牛五不停地要老師注意洋人弄出來的負片效果,老師衹好跟牛五說那個負片效果什麼的看起來沒有什麼特別的意思。

牛三經過老師和牛五身邊,看到牛五吃癟了,馬上指責老師說:『老師你自比為小英,你自爽,你好不要臉喔!』

------------------------------------------------------------

老師費盡心力對牛三說:『100開平方根是10,不是9。』

牛三說:『老師你太瑣碎了。我的洋博士朋友鼓勵我,說我雖然笨,只要努力,還是可以在社會上活下來。我頂回去,我說,只要我不失敗,我就會成功。他聽了一愣,聳聳肩膀走開了。老師你真廢!洋博士都打不過我,被我一招解決,老師你行嗎?!』

牛三回家把這事告訴牛五,牛五馬上給牛三拍手。

.

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引用網址:https://city.udn.com/forum/trackback.jsp?no=57666&aid=3623630
Now she is on a smear campaign
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Is it really that difficult for Ms. Gail to admit her mistakes?  In fact, she doesn't even have admit them.  She just has to have enough sense to stop. 

But no, she has to win and she has to have the final say.  Now she is on a smear campaign.  She not only understands the article in [Mental Floss] better than I do, she understands what I wrote better than I do.  How much more arrogant can this get and how much lower can this get?


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引用網址:https://city.udn.com/forum/trackback.jsp?no=57666&aid=3623602
老羅,您繼續去講「What an ultramaroon」「毫無種族歧視意味」「只是卡通裡的習慣用語」………
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老羅,您繼續去講「What an ultramaroon」「毫無種族歧視意味」「只是卡通裡的習慣用語」………

http://www.libertytimes.com.tw/2009/new/sep/21/today-int5.htm
2009-9-21
美大學生扮狗仔 踢爆假道學社團

〔編譯鄭寺音/綜合報導〕美國一名幽默感十足的保守派學生,最近靠著偷拍攝影機,讓數個神聖的自由派組織顏面掃地。這名學生不僅拍下自由派團體默許種族歧視言詞、說服自由主義者與恐怖囚犯當筆友的畫面,還記錄到知名草根組織遊說「皮條客」引進童妓的不堪過程,打了披著道貌岸然外衣的自由派重重的一個耳光。

二十五歲的歐凱非在其中一次偷拍行動中,打電話給俄亥俄州支持選擇性墮胎的團體「計畫生育(Planned Parenthood)」,表示要捐款給少數族群,他同時大放厥詞「俄亥俄州太多黑人了」,員工也大笑應和,並未提出抗議。接著他致電「計畫生育」的愛達荷州分社,說他只想捐給要動墮胎手術的黑人母親。歐凱非解釋說,他之所以這麼做,只是要降低小孩未來申請大學時面臨的少數族群競爭,即便如此,「計畫生育」成員也未提異議,還說他「絕對」可以限制捐款用途。

「計畫生育」在影帶於YouTube上曝光後發佈聲明指出,影帶經過「大幅編修」、「無事實根據」。

指導貸款買房當妓院 教導扶養童妓減稅

不過歐凱非不善罷干休,上週他與二十歲的吉爾斯小姐假扮成皮條客與妓女,聯手出擊前往共和黨向來不喜的社區組織機構「橡樹子(ACORN)」(全名
Association of Community Organization for Reform Now),終於拍到讓他們大獲全勝的影帶。影片中,一大群好心的橡樹子工作人員,建議歐凱非與吉爾斯把南美洲的女孩走私入境,還建議他們申請貸款買房子當妓院,更告訴他們可藉扶養童妓來減稅。歐凱非告訴橡樹子在巴爾的摩辦公室的員工,他會僱用十三歲的女孩當妓女,「但他們一點也不在乎」,「沒人對他們施壓,我們要做些驚人的事,看看可以發現什麼」。

荒唐言行全都錄 導致聯邦補助全砍

歐凱非僅僅花了相當於新台幣四萬兩千元旅費,就成功地吹皺政壇一池春水,一時間萬頭攢動,眾議院高票通過砍掉橡樹子所有的聯邦補助。自稱為革新激進派的歐凱非,早從大學時代就開始針砭時事,當時就以愛爾蘭裔身份抱怨玉米片紙盒上愛爾蘭小妖精帶有種族歧視意涵,針砭校方行為。

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超人、領袖、特異功能....."Metal floss"應有盡有
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Chocola

引用文章"Metal floss"2009年新書 (笑一個)

"Metal floss"的風格如何,看以下版面就知道。(該雜誌網站為新書Be Amazing所做的促銷廣告)

Be Amazing: Become Invisible

by Be Amazing - March 9, 2009 - 12:10 PM

Whether you’re looking to start your own religion, swallow a sword, quit smoking, find Atlantis, buy the Moon, sink a battleship, perform your own surgeries, or become a ninja, our new book Be Amazing covers all the essential life skills! This week, we’ll be excerpting a few lessons from the book.

If you have several billion dollars and a defense department contract:

You may be able to get invisible, thanks to a new technology based off the Fantastic Four. According to comic-book mythology, the Invisible Woman pulls off her shtick by bending light waves around her body with a force field—so instead of seeing a blond chick in spandex, supervillans see whatever happens to be behind her. So far, this skill is strictly for fictional hotties, but researchers at St. Andrews University in Scotland think that, in the near future, those of us not genetically altered by radioactive rays from space may be able to do something similar.

The concept works like this: We see objects because they reflect light back to our eyes. So if an object were able to curve light around itself like water flowing around a river stone, it would be effectively invisible. We’d see all the things around and behind it that reflected the light instead. To be invisible, a person or object would have to be concealed behind a shield made of metamaterials, highly engineered man-made solids that can bend waves of energy. So far, the metamaterials are still theoretical, but scientists agree that they’re coming soon. Both the researchers at St. Andrews and a different group at the Pentagon have predicted that successful metamaterials capable of hiding objects from radar or electromagnetic waves (though, sadly, not from the human eye) could debut as early as 2009.

If you have a couple of million and airfare to Japan:

You can be transparent right now, though people may accuse you of cheating. Tachi Laboratories at the University of Tokyo has developed a sort of virtual invisibility cloak made of a luminescent material, similar to a movie screen or stop sign paint. Using a digital camera linked to a powerful computer, researchers can project live images and video from behind the cloak onto its front, making it blend in, chameleon-style, with the background. The effect isn’t all that realistic; you won’t be using this cloak to walk into a bank and rob it undetected. However, the technology promises to be very useful to surgeons, who could use it to “see” through their own hands for a better view of their patient’s innards.

If you’re on a budget:

You can’t be invisible, but your Pyrex® glassware can. Turns out, Pyrex and Wesson oil reflect light at almost the exact same angle—so if you immerse a rod of Pyrex in a jar of cooking oil, the submerged glass will appear to vanish.

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給您的連結~~~
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給DM網友"三本56的文章"
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真的不好笑嗎?
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SCFtw2

說實在,楊志的故事我從小就覺得爆笑,僅次於魯智深切豬肉那個橋段

這可能是從小就有腦殘的症狀

不過我還是覺得SCF寫的故事不比施耐庵差啊,說不定五百年後就有某位腦殘看到這段被送去急診.....



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東機英條
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Chocola

故事的開始是我某次在嘉南平原上聽到地下電台在頌揚東機英條的英勇事蹟,以及類似文天祥一般的愛國情操。

 

這可能也是一種黑色幽默吧,不過從賣藥的口中聽不出有嘲弄的意思。更妙的是,透過google 我發現東機英條不但活在台灣的地下電台,也活在大陸的憤青心中。

我把這個我親身見聞的故事重複一次,想不到就有偉光正意識強大的人正色駁斥,說明是東條英機而非東機英條:

https://city.udn.com/3011/2554558ß---他大概就是從這個時候開始討厭我的

 

無獨有偶的是,在另一個西門豹與西門慶的故事中,也有朋友跳出來斥責我,並考證西門豹絕非西門慶的祖父不知道巧克力妹是不是因此開始討厭我。

 

在此我必須懺悔,問題是出在unexpected readers而非unlikely readers,當東機英條在網路上眾志成城的越活越偉大時,該滾蛋的是東條英機。

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你早就輸了~~~
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原諒我潑您冷水,您期待我說什麼呢?只能據實以告了

您極力想顯示的幽默與批判感,正好反證您的平凡與智殘

看「Idiocracy」這麼一部童話垃圾片,能夠:「笑到肺泡破裂,被醫生警告千萬不要再從事類似活動」,雖然是自以為誇張逗趣的描述,但隱含的思維與片中500年後的弱智人類有什麼不同?

您又說:「在此大聲宣佈,Idiocracy輸了,神佛院群牛獲得壓倒性勝利

很酷的宣示嗎?超越了什麼嗎?尋王社群真是這樣嗎?您捫心自問得過嗎? 

可憐的DM網友,「三字經」有真假兩種,您兩種都沒學好~~~~~

 

P.S.Idiocracy」網路看片可至>>>http://www.56.com/

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輸了
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上次因為看Idiocracy笑到肺泡破裂,被醫生警告千萬不要再從事類似活動

http://blog.udn.com/transpen/1507910

(今天才發現當時羅安格林與巧克力妹都有推薦ㄟ)

雖然知道很危險今天還是冒死看了神佛院群牛傳

在此大聲宣佈Idiocracy輸了神佛院群牛獲得壓倒性勝利

 



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屁精行四
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.

引用文章"宇宙奇恥"?還是急公好義?

.

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