So don't turn away from the pain. Face it. Feel it fully. Feel it--don't think about it! Express it if necessary, but don't create a script in your mind around it. Give all your attention to the feeling, not to the person, event, or situation that seems to have caused it.
Don't let the mind use the pain to create a victim identity for yourself out of it. Feeling sorry for yourself and telling others your story will keep you stuck in suffering.
Since it is impossible to get away from the feeling, the only possibility of change is to move into it; otherwise, nothing will shift.
So give your complete attention to what you feel, and refrain from mentally labeling it. As you go into feeling, be intensely alert.
At first, it may seem like a dark and terrifying place, and when the urge to turn away from it comes, observe it but don't act on it. Keep putting your attention on the pain, keep feeling the grief, the fear, the dread, the loneliness, whatever it is.
Stay alert, stay present --- present with your whole Being, with every cell of your body. As you do so, you are bringing a light into this darkness. This is the flame of your consciousness.
refrain KK[rɪˋfren]DJ[riˋfrein] vi.不及物動詞 1. 忍住；抑制，節制；戒除[（+from）] Please refrain from spitting on the sidewalk. 請不要在人行道上吐痰。 vt.及物動詞 1. 【古】克制，抑制 He could hardly refrain himself. 他幾乎不能自制。 變化形 動變: refrained,refrained,refraining vt. 避免 avoid, abstain, forego, shun 反義字 「vi. & vt. 避免；節制；戒除」的反義字： persist refrain n.名詞 （詩歌或樂曲的）疊句；副歌[C] refrain v動詞 formal -to not do something that you want to do 【正式】克制﹐節制﹐忍住 [+from]
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