NEW WORDS FOR 2005 - Essential additions for the workplace vocabulary:
BLAMESTORMING
Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.
SEAGULL MANAGER
A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.
ASSMOSIS
The process by which some people seem to absorb success an advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.
SALMON DAY
The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.
CUBE FARM
An office filled with cubicles.
PRAIRIE DOGGING
When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.
MOUSE POTATO
The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.
SITCOMs
Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids.
STRESS PUPPY
A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whinny
SWIPEOUT
An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.
XEROX SUBSIDY
Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's workplace.
IRRITAINMENT
Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying but you find yourself unable to stop watching them. The Anna Nichole show is a prime example.
PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE
The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.
ADMINISPHERE
The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.
404
Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404 Not Found, " meaning that the requested document could not be located.
GENERICA
Features of the American landscape that are exactly the same no matter where one is, such as fast food joints, strip malls, subdivisions.
OHNOSECOND
That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake.
WOOFYS
Well Off Older Folks.
CROP DUSTING
Surreptitiously farting while passing thru a cube farm, then enjoying the sounds of dismay and disgust; leads to PRAIRIE DOGGING.
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