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We're walking past her in the hallway, I'd turn the other way. I wouldn't even say "Hello" to her, because I was terrified, all I could think about was my goal. When she told my friend John, " If Reggie wants me to be his girlfriend, he got to ask me himself," I heard, "Yes". So, I stopped thinking about the goal, the goal had already been achieved. I came back to focusing on my behaviors. Once I started focusing on my behaviors, I figured out what class she had at first hour. I learned the rules at our school about changing classes, I went to the principal's office talking to adults, "Hey, listen, I got to change classes, I got a girl to catch." I walked into the Home Ec room, full of girls. I was afraid to talk to one girl, now there is a room full of girls, and I was like,"Ladies, I am here." I asked Tara to move over so I could sit next to Lasandra, and she did! I had a little swagger to me because I heard, "yes." And when I heard yes, I stopped focusing on the goal and I started focusing on my behavior, and I got myself into a position to achieve my goal. She said "no" at that time, but later she said yes. Years later, when I looked back and thought about that, I thought, "That's really the model for what happens in life, it's a metaphor." If you think about what we all go through, say, weight loss. We all were on a diet at one point or another - I am on one now, involuntarily, my wife has put me on one- but we all were on a diet at one point or another.
我們在走廊裡從她身邊走過，我會轉向另一個方向。我什至不會對她說“你好”，因為我很害怕，我能想到的只是我的目標。當她告訴我的朋友約翰，“如果雷吉願意做他的女朋友，他必須親自問我，”我聽到，“是的”。所以，我不再去想目標，目標已經實現了。我重新開始關注我的行為。一旦我開始關注自己的行為，我就知道她在第一個小時上了什麼課。我在我們學校學到了關於換班的規則，我不想去校長辦公室和成年人說話，“嘿，聽著，我要換班，我要抓一個女孩。”我走進全是女孩的 Home Ec 房間。我害怕和一個女孩說話，現在房間裡擠滿了女孩，我想，“女士們，我在這裡。”我讓 Tara 搬過來，這樣我就可以坐在 Lasandra 旁邊，她做到了！我有點大搖大擺，因為我聽到了，“是的。”當我聽到是時，我不再專注於目標，我開始專注於我的行為，我讓自己處於實現目標的位置。她當時說不，但後來她說是的。多年後，當我回首往事時，我想，“這真的是生活中發生的事情的模型，它是一個隱喻。”如果你想想我們都經歷了什麼，比如說減肥。我們都曾在某個時候節食——我現在不由自主地在節食，我的妻子不由自主地讓我節食——但我們都曾在某個時候節食。
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