|
A Return to the Frontier〈重返邊疆〉( 一 )
|
瀏覽1,737 ｜回應0｜推薦0 |
|
|
|
Eileen Chang 張愛玲著
劉錚譯 鄭遠濤校
When I got off the plane in Taipei on my way to Hong Kong, I did not expect to see anyone I knew. I had asked the Chus not to meet me, knowing they were busy just then. But it was possible that they would get somebody else to come in their stead, so I was not surprised when an efficient-looking man in neat western clothes approached me.“You are Mrs. Richard Nixon?”He said in English.
去香港的途中，在台北停留，下得飛機，原沒想到會遇見熟人。我早前就跟朱先生、朱太太說了，讓他們不要來接我，知道他們忙。不過他們也可能會找人代勞，所以看到一位模樣精幹、西裝整齊的男士向我走來，我也沒覺得訝異。「您是尼克森夫人嗎？」他用英語問。
I had seen many photographs of the blonde Mrs. Nixon and never imagined I resembled her. Besides, he should be able to tell a fellow Chinese even behind her dark glasses. But with a woman's inability to disbelieve a compliment altogether, no matter how flagrantly untrue, I remembered that she was thin, which I undoubtedly was. Then there was those glasses.“No, I am sorry,”I said, and he walked away to search among the other passengers.
我見過不少尼克森總統夫人的相片，都是金髮，覺得自己跟她一點都不像。再說，即便有墨鏡，他也應該能分辨得出我是中國人。但是再不由衷的讚美在一個女人看來都帶幾分可信性。我想起尼克森夫人是很瘦的，無疑我也是。何況還有墨鏡。「對不起，我不是。」我說完他便走開，到別的旅客那邊找去了。
It struck me as a little odd that Mrs. Nixon should come to Formosa, even if everybody is visiting the Orient just now. Anyhow there must have been some mix-up, as there was only this one embassy employee to greet her.
我有些奇怪，尼克森夫人幹嘛到台灣來，雖說現在什麼人也到東方來看看。一定搞錯了，怎麼可能只有一個使館人員來迎接她。
“Did you know Mrs. Nixon is coming today? ”I asked my friends Mr. And Mrs. Chu, who had turned up after all.
「你們知道尼克森夫人今天要來嗎？」我問朋友朱先生、朱太太，他們到底來了。
“No, we haven't heard, ”Mr. Chu said. I told them about the man who mistook me for her and what a joke that was.“Um,”he said unsmiling. Then he said somewhat embarrassedly,“There's a man who is always hanging around the airport to meet American dignitaries. He's not quite sane. ”
「沒有啊，我們沒聽說。」朱先生說。我跟他講了有人錯把我認成總統夫人的事，真夠滑稽的了。「嗯，」他沒有笑，有點尷尬地說：「有個人總在機場這兒轉悠，想見美國的名流。他精神不大正常。」
I laughed, then went under Formosa's huge wave of wistful yearning for the outside world, particularly America, its only friend and therefore in some ways a foe.
我笑了，感到台灣對外界的企望確如熱風撲面，尤其對美國——它唯一的盟友，因此某些方面也未嘗不是敵人。
“How does it feel to be back? ”Mr. Chu asked. Although I had never been there before, they were going along with the official assumption that Formosa is China, the mother country of all Chinese. I looked around the crowded airport and it really was China, not the strange one I left ten years ago under the Communists but the one I knew best and thought had vanished forever. The buzz of Mandarin voices also made it different from Hong Kong. A feeling of chronological confusion came over me.
「回來感覺如何？」朱先生問。雖然我根本沒來過，但他們都習慣於官方的思路，覺得到了台灣就是到了中國，是回到祖國了。我環視了一下人頭攢動的機場，當真是中國，不是那片我十年前離開的，共黨治下的陌生的國土，卻是我最熟悉的，我原以為已經一去不返的那個中國。國語營營於耳，跟香港兩樣。一種時空交疊的感覺不由襲來。
“It feels like dreaming. ”And taking in all the familiar faces speaking the tones of homeland, I exclaimed,“But it's not possible! ”Mr. Chu smiled ruefully as if I had said,“But you are ghosts. ”
「像做夢一樣。」眼前是熟口熟面，聽的是故國鄉音，我慨歎：「可惜不是真的。」朱先生苦笑著，好像我說的是「可惜你們都是孤魂野鬼」。
Mrs. Chu told me as we left the airport,“This is an ugly city, but the minute you get out of town it is beautiful.“
出機場的時候，朱太太跟我說：「台北難看得很，不過出城那會兒還挺漂亮的。」
They lodged me in a mountain inn. I got the General's Suite, where the generals stay when they come uphill to report to the Generalissimo, who lives a few steps away across the road. The suite was reached through a series of deserted little courtyards, with its own rock garden and lotus pond. In the silence there was just the sound of the evening drizzle on the banana palm and in the bathroom a tap of sulphur water constantly running out of a stone lion mouth and splashing over the rim of the cement tank. There were rattan furniture on the tatami flooring and a wardrobe and bed with stained sheets. I told myself not to be fastidious. But there were bedbugs. Finally I had to get up near dawn to sleep on the ledge of the honor recess, where in Japanese living rooms the best vase and picture scroll are displayed. The maid was frightened when she come in the morning and could not find me.
他們安排我住山間旅館。我住進將軍套房，是將軍們上山向總司令匯報時的居所，馬路對面不遠就是總司令的行館。套房外是幾近荒棄的院落和假山荷塘。寂靜裡只聽見薄暮細雨落在芭蕉葉上的淅瀝，還有從石獅子嘴裡一滴一滴漏出來的溫泉，濺到水泥浴盆上的嘀嗒。塌塌米上有幾件藤製家具，一隻衣櫃，一張床，床單斑斑點點的。我跟自己說別太挑剔了，但這兒有臭蟲。末了，我不得不在凌晨起來，睡到壁龕裡去，那本是日式房間擺放花瓶畫軸的地方。女傭早上進來的時候嚇了一跳，因為哪都找不到我。
It was plain that the generals had feminine companionship while spending the night awaiting audience with the Generalissimo. I wondered at the ease of procuring girls almost next door to that Christian and Confucian founder of the New Life Movement. Surely it was unseemly with“Heaven's countenance only a foot away, ”as we used to describe an audience with the emperor. After I left Taipei for the countryside, I realized that prostitution was more open on this land than perhaps anywhere else in the world. In a small-town newspaper five or six advertisements of this type appeared in one day:“Joy and Happiness Prostitutes' Domicile, 1st class. 124 Shin Ming Road. Swarms of pretty girls like clouds, offering the best services. ”
等總司令召見的前一晚，將軍們顯然有女人陪伴著。在集基督教和儒家信仰於一身的新生活運動發起者的眼皮底下，召妓竟如此方便，著實讓我驚詫。過去我們形容皇帝召見為「咫尺天顏」——這種場合下這麼做實在不雅觀。後來我離開台北，到了鄉間，才發現在這裡賣淫業可能比在世界上任何地方都更明目張膽。在小鎮，這類廣告報上一天就有五六條：「新民路124號逸樂園，甲級。美女如雲，服務周到。」
In the countryside Formosa peels back, showing older strata. There were more native Formosans than refugees. The mixed emotions of my homecoming of sorts gave way to pure tourist enthusiasm.
一到農村，台灣的浮面便層層褪去，露出底下較傳統的本來面目。這裡本省人比外省人多。我原先種種還鄉的思緒消散殆盡，只剩下觀光客的熱情。
From time to time Mrs. Chu, sitting next to me in the bus, whispering next to me in the bus, whispered urgently, “shandi, shandi! ”I just caught a glimpse of a shandi, or mountain dweller, a gray little wraith with whiskers tattooed on her cheeks carrying a baby on her back and loitering outside a shop along the highway. “Shandi, shandi! ”Again the breathless little cry and a nudge. I saw gypsylike children in ragged T-shirts and skirts, carrying smaller children.“They all come to town when there's a Japanese picture on, ”Mrs. Chusaid.
“Oh, do they speak Japanese? ”
“Very well. ”
客運巴士上朱太太坐我隔壁，她不時示意我看，急切地悄聲道：「山地人，山地人！」一個灰影子似的山地人在我眼前驚鴻一瞥，她臉頰上紋著刺青，像鬍子一樣，背著個小孩，在路邊小店的門外轉來轉去。「山地人，山地人！」又是一陣大呼小叫，朱太太用胳臂肘連連推我。我看見一群衣衫襤褸的小孩，背上還背著更小的弟弟妹妹，像吉普賽人似的。
「鎮上放日本電影，他們都去看的。」朱太太說。
「哦？他們會說日本話嗎？」
「說得很好呢。」
Many of the bus passengers talked Japanese. They were the early Chinese settlers, and a surprising number of their young people still spoke Japanese. The bus stopped at what seemed to be the middle of nowhere and a young man got off. The conductor followed him. Suddenly there was a fight, the two rolling over and over on the wayside.“Chigaru yo! Chigaru yo!”I could make out the one Japanese word the young man kept shouting:“Mistake! Mistake!“The driver got off to help beat him. The passenger learned that this man was always stealing rides. I thought how un-Chinese these people were. In Hong Kong I had seen a streetcar conductor following a free rider to the street and grad hold of his necktie, in place of the pigtail which used to be the first thing reached for in a brawl. But that was just a scuffle and exchange of words. Last year a bus conductor was taken to the police station on the complain of a woman he had hit with his ticket puncher, a murderous tool conductors were forever rattling to remind people to buy tickets. But there were never any real fights like this.
車上不少乘客都講日語。他們是從前從中國來的移民，相當多的年輕人居然還在講著日語。汽車在一個前不著村後不著店的地方停了下來，有位年輕人走下車，售票員在後面跟著。突然間兩人扭鬥起來，在公路邊滾來滾去。那人喊著：「其嘎路由！其嘎路由！」我能聽出這個日語詞是說：「搞錯了！搞錯了！」司機也下車幫忙打他。乘客都知道他總是坐車不買票的。我想，這些人是太不像中國人了。我在香港的時候曾看到過一個巴士售票員追揩油搭便車的傢伙，一直追到街上，抓住那人的領帶——有辮子可抓的時代已經結束了。不過，那也只是扭打對罵而已。去年，一位巴士售票員給帶到了警局，因為有個女人告他用打票機打人——售票員總是拿打票機這種「兇器」來提醒人家買票。然而從前畢竟沒有這樣真正大打出手過。
Finally the driver and conductor let the man go. He got on his feet panting and dusting himself. They drove off. He stood at attention in his torn khaki shirt and saluted the bus as it passed. He did not look old enough to have been in the army in Japanese days, but that reverence was distinctly Japanese. Oddly enough, it also reminded me of the Communist Chinese lining up all the porters, sweepers, and peddlers on the railway platform, each presenting his broom, pole, and basket like arms as the train pulled out. Workers have been told to love their machine, but to have them pay their respects to it in this little ritual seemed strange.
司機和售票員終於讓那個年輕人走了。他站起身來，呼哧帶喘地，拍打著身上的灰土。車子發動了，身穿破卡其布襯衣的年輕人立正站著，汽車經過他身邊時，他敬了個軍禮。從年齡看，恐怕他在日據時期還沒有當過兵吧，但那虔敬的神氣卻絕對是日本式的。說也奇怪，這讓我想起在共產中國的情形來。火車離站時，站台上所有的腳夫、清潔工和小商小販一字排開，把手中的掃帚、扁擔和籃子都像武器一般橫在胸前。讓工人愛護機器這沒有錯，但是像這樣崇敬到如同搞小型宗教儀式的程度，也還是讓人感到怪異。
From FormosaI went on to Hong Kong, which I had not seen for six years. The city was being torn down and rebuilt into high apartment buildings. Whole streets were dug up, with a postbox buried up to its neck, still functioning. The refugees were settled down, hoping only to live out their lives in Hong Kong. The younger generation speak Cantonese in school and refuse to speak anything else at home, a good excuse not to talk to their parents that other teenagers may envy.
離開台灣，我又到了睽別六年的香港。整個城市給摧枯拉朽地拆掉了，廢墟上建起一幢幢的高層公寓。街上到處在挖溝，郵筒子一直給埋到脖頸，居然還在用著。逃難來的人安頓下來了，只要能在這兒活下去，他們別無所求。他們的下一代在學校裡講廣東話，在家裡除了廣東話什麼也不肯講，避免與父母交談，沒有比這再好的理由了，本地的學生一定羨慕得緊。
The more or less well-to-do homes I saw were getting increasingly Americanized, with amahs becoming too expensive and washing machines taking their place alone with the lastest-model refrigerators and hi-fi phonographs bought on the installment plan. Christmas had become a great occasion for gifts and parties for non-Christians too. Boys and girls handed each other Christmas cards in school. One girl wrote to a woman columnist: “I am nineteen years old. My father and I escaped from north China a year ago, crossing the country with great difficulty. We made the last stretch to Macao in a small boat which was fired on by the Communists. My father covered me with his body so he got wounded and died in the hospital in Macao. I came to Hong Kong, where a friend of father's got me a job paying about HK$100 a month [less than twenty American dollars], just enough to keep alive and rent a bunk. I am the only one without Christmas in all Hong Kong. Please tell me if I should go back the mainland.”
我看到的那些多少富裕點的家庭越來越美國化了。女傭太貴雇不起，好在有洗衣機能夠頂替。還有最新款的冰箱和高保真唱機，分期付款買的。不信基督的人也把聖誕節當成聚會、送禮的好時機，學校裡，男女生互贈賀卡。有個女孩子給報上的專欄女作家寫信說：「我今年十九歲。一年前，我和爸爸從北邊逃出來，千辛萬苦穿越了整個中國。最後乘坐小船偷渡澳門的時候，遭到了邊防軍的阻擊。我爸爸用身體護住我，結果受了傷，死在澳門的醫院裡。我來到香港，爸爸的一位老友幫我找了份工作，每月只有100港元（不到20美元），勉強夠糊口。在這麼大的香港，我是唯一沒有聖誕節可過的人。請告訴我該不該回大陸去。」
本文於 修改第 5 次
|
|
|
本城市首頁
等級：8
