Part 1

Part 3

The first thing I needed to take care was my husband’s most important need - Sexual Fulfillment.  I found out I had hard time making love to him now because on the back of my mind, there was this little voice telling me I might not be doing a good job.  My body had changed so much after having four kids, especially after my twin pregnancy.  I had lost most of my weight.  But I was not as firm as I used to.  So I went to gym couple times a week to tone up my muscles.

But one thing that bothered me the most was the comment he made during our loving making on the first night he returned home.  He said to me “Gee, you are loose”.  I did not give it too much thought at that particular moment.  However, after I knew about this girl, I knew exactly what he meant.  So now there was this little voice on the back in my head constantly telling me that I did not give him enough pleasure because I was not tight enough.

I asked him about it, and he told me just to some exercise to firm it up.  But I knew it was not that easy.  I did some more research and was serious considering a surgical procedure called “Laser Vaginal Rejuvenation” by Dr. Matlock.  I went to see him after my husband left, and after a long consideration, I had the procedure done while he was away.  I did not tell him about the surgery of course.  And He was in a very big shock when he returned nine months later.  He could hardly get in!  And he could not leave me alone during his entire two-week stay.  So…the rest was history!

Part 2

I started to do a lot of research on the subject of Infidelity.  I found out most of the Chinese men all of the same dream of living like a Chinese Emperor, had a very good and understanding wife, and also had several mistresses on the side. To them, wife was wife. Nobody could change that. And all the mistresses had to play by his rule and could not interfere with his family.

We were both from the Taiwan, but we also had the same western value since we had been living in the state for more than 20 years. We were very open to each other about almost everything. When he lived in the state, even though he had this fantasy about living like an emperor, he knew it too well that it would never happen. But things were different now because he now lived in an environment that Bigamy and external marriage affair were common and acceptable. I thought that’s where the problem was. The girls were very aggressive, especially to people from overseas.

I was tore into two pieces. One side of my brain was telling me I should just let him do what ever he wanted because he had promised that he would protect me from all the harms. But the other side of the brain told me I should not have to share my husband with someone else even though she was living in another country.

He told me he was kind of lost and did not know what he was doing while he was there. The temptation was too great. And after what had happened these past few months and see how much he had hurt me, he knew what to do when he returned this time. He told me he needed time to sort things through and fix this big mess.

Then I came across some marriage books talked about “His needs and her needs” and “Divorce Buster – The 180 degree”.  These books pointed out that a wife needed to fulfill her husband’s four most important needs, otherwise, he would be likely to find somebody else to fulfill it.  (Please see my other posts for information on these).

I took the suggestion from the book and started to learn to play golf since the sport was his passion. And I started to pay more attention to myself and joined the gym and exercised three times a day. However, I did not tell him all these things. It would make a much bigger impact for him to discover the changes him selves.  It was difficult to compete with all those beautiful women who were only half of your age.