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老美的政治笑話﹐包您會心大笑喔
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曾太公
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麥芽糖

***

我的老美女市民貼上一文﹐現翻成中文﹐簡貼如下﹕

有童問父﹕『何謂政治﹖』

父曰﹕『簡言之﹐

我是一家之主﹐就稱我為總統

汝母理家管錢﹐就稱她為政府

我們照顧您們﹐就稱您為人民

家裡的女傭﹐就稱為工農群眾

而您的小嬰兒弟﹐就稱為未來

如此思如此想﹐您就悟出其理。』

此童逐回床就寢﹐心理想著父親所言之理。

半夜突聞弟弟哭啼﹐小童前往查看﹐發現弟弟尿床﹐尿布全濕。遂往父母房﹐只見母親酣睡不想吵醒媽媽﹐就轉去女傭房﹐見房門深鎖﹐往鑰匙孔看去﹐見老父抱傭而眠。小童黯然﹐回床再睡。

次晨﹐小童回父說﹕『經過一夜﹐我知何謂政治矣。』

父曰﹕『太棒啦﹗就用您的話﹐告訴我政治是怎麼個一回事﹖』

童曰﹕『總統臭幹請用台語發音﹐我可沒用中文那個粗鄙的『入肉』幹工農群眾時﹐正是政府好眠時﹔人民﹐就被冷漠忽視﹐未來﹐就此狗屎馬尿﹐身陷水火中。』

****

My dear Pacita,

Great article.  Very to the point.

It is much better and easily understandable than my article: Second Letter to Senator McCain: CFPTB Is Your Savior.   Do you mind that I re-post it on a major Chinese website?  I would like to share it with my friends in Taiwan and China.

*****

 

Someone shared this with me, and I laughed so hard, that I thought perhaps I should share it too. We all need a break.

A little boy goes to his dad and asks, 'What is Politics?'

Dad says, 'Well son, let me try to explain it this way:

I am the head of the family, so call me The President.

Your mother is the administrator of the money, so we call her the Government.

We are here to take care of your needs, so we will call you the People.

The nanny, we will consider her the Working Class

And your baby brother, we will call him the Future."

"Now think about that and see if it makes sense." So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what his dad has said.

Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has soiled his diaper. So the little boy goes to his parent's room and finds his mother asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed.

The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now."

The father says, "Good, Son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about."

The little boy replies, "The President is screwing the Working Class while the Government is sound asleep. The People are being ignored and the Future is in deep shit."

註﹕遊民對銀行家說﹕“我要申請的貸款﹐是我付不出時﹐政府會替我付清的那一種。”


雲遊去了﹐有緣自聚

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引用網址:https://city.udn.com/forum/trackback.jsp?no=50539&aid=3067843
引用者清單(1)
2008/10/23 00:10 【不平則鳴】 政府難得酣睡﹐就体諒吧﹗
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老美的政治笑話: 驗尿
    回應給: 曾太公(et13808) 推薦0


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JOB - URINE TEST
> (Whoever wrote this one deserves a HUGE pat on the back!)


>
> Like a lot of folks in this state, I ha
ve a job. I
> work, they pay me. I pay my taxes and the government
> distributes my taxes as it sees fit. In order to get that
> paycheck, I am required to pass a random urine test with
> which I have no problem.
>
> What I do have a problem with is the distribution
> of my taxes to people who don't have to pass a urine
> test. Shouldn't one have to pass a urine test to get a
> welfare check because I have to pass one to earn it for
> them?
>
> Please understand, I have no problem with helping
> people get back on their feet. I do, on the other hand, have
> a problem with helping someone sitting on their ASS, doing
> drugs, while I work. . . . Can you imagine how much
> money the state would save if people had to pass a urine
> test to get a public assistance check? Pass this along if
> you agree or simply delete if you don't. Hope you all
> will pass it along, though . . . Something has to change in
> this country -- and soon
>
> Guess we could title that program, 'Urine or
> You're Out'.

大致上是說: 老子拼命上班賺錢, 繳稅養同胞米蟲, 別無他求, 但要一事公平: 乃驗尿也!

老子上班, 得要驗尿. 既然收稅, 付錢的時候, 也來個驗尿, 絕對可以省下許多公帑.

這就是美國新總統 - 奧巴碼許多節省開支的政見, 最主要的基礎!




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您就是這個淘氣阿丹個性
    回應給: 麥芽糖(myata) 推薦2


曾太公
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文章推薦人 (2)

麥咖啡
麥芽糖

呵呵呵﹗您就是這個淘氣阿丹的個性﹔連『我罵』(Walmart) 這老美最大的店﹐日久也會受不了『淘氣』﹐人見人怨﹐趕人出門喔﹖

您就想想電二小姐的肚子﹐別讓她學辣妹﹐有天也給您來巧言信﹐來個禁足。別說我沒警告過您喔﹗

附註﹕代貼老美網站文如下﹕

My dear,

Here, wish you enjoy a break from one of my Taiwanese bloggers who post a reply in return after reading your article:

BANNED FROM WAL MART........ ...

This is why women should not take men shopping against their will.

....

****

What a genius "Daniel the Great" Mr. Samsel is!  I have to say, even I like shopping as his wife. 

10/18/2008 08:47 PM by ET (*****) Edit Delete



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老美的笑話﹐BANNED FROM WAL MART........ ...
    回應給: 曾太公(et13808) 推薦1


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麥咖啡

BANNED FROM WAL MART........ ...


This is why women should not take men shopping against their will.


After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to
Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and
preferred
to get in and get out. Equally unfortunately, my wife is like
most women - - she loved to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the
following letter from the local Wal-Mart.

Dear Mrs. Samsel,

Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a
commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been
forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr.
Samsel are listed below and are documented by our video
surveillance cameras.


1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's
carts when they weren't looking.


2 . July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at
5-minute intervals.


3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the
women's restroom.


4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice,
'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away.'


5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's
on layaway.


6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.


7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other
shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets
from the bedding department.


8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying
and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'




9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a
mirror while he picked his nose.


10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department,he
asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.


11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly
humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.


12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look'
by using different sizes of funnels.


13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through,
yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'


14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he
assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'


And last, but not least ¦


15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile,
then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!'

Regards,
Tom Richards
Walmart Manager




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Thank you
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Ed

By all means, go ahead. And enjoy!

Pacita

10/18/2008 01:25 PM by Pacita D****, REALTOR, e-PRO, SRES, MBA (***** Inc.)

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