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第十九章

 

舞會之後,莎拉也沒有快樂起來,心一直沉浸在傷心的淚水裡,雖然外表還能強顏歡笑,但從安德魯親口說的話中得知他將娶那位女子,讓莎拉整個人有如落入萬丈深淵,似乎像個溺水的人一般,無法喘息呼吸。

 

公爵一家人隱隱感覺到舞會過後莎拉很不一樣,但又說不出是什麼,也沒有多問,只有安妮有一次想打探莎拉傷心的原因,莎拉抿緊嘴唇一個字也不肯透露。莎拉沉浸在自己的悲傷中,偶而伊蓮娜會過來看她,帶給她一些有趣或毫無樂趣的消息。

 

伊蓮娜知道莎拉在傷心什麼,卻絲毫幫不上忙,另一方面,安德魯.格林伯爵即將結婚的消息傳得沸沸揚揚。畢竟安德魯.格林伯爵是社交圈最有名的黃金單身漢,更別提他有畫畫才華,還深受女王的賞賜,女王請他畫了一幅畫,這幅畫就掛在皇家的來賓室,這正是女王看重格林伯爵最好的證明了。

 

莎拉在如此難以抵擋的悲傷情緒下撐了好一陣,連寫作也無法繼續下去。冬天即將來臨,莎拉在焦慮及傷心的情況下,決定逃離倫敦的各種傳言。她先徵求公爵和公爵夫人的同意,然後寫信告知伍德夫婦她即將去蒙特莊園和他們夫妻倆度過冬天。

 

回信很快來了,伍德夫婦當然歡迎莎拉能夠回來與他們同住,因為他們也很想念莎拉。莎拉收拾了自己的行李,和用來最喜歡寫作的筆,和家人道了再見後,便出發回到自己成長的地方。

 

離熟悉的景物越來越近,莎拉悲傷的思緒慢慢消失一些。這一路上,莎拉感慨自己的人生有太多轉折,幸好遇上的都是極好的人,否則在不順利的人生下,是否她又能突破逆境,努力向前呢?就像現在在遭遇愛情的挫敗-不管怎樣,這只是一件小事,莎拉鼓勵著自己,她希望自己在蒙特莊園待上幾個月後能脫胎換骨,徹底遺忘安德魯的存在。

 

回到蒙特莊園,伍德夫婦熱烈的歡迎她。莎拉回到這舊時的家,以前的舊習慣就回來了,她仍稱伍德夫婦為爸爸媽媽,也一如從前那樣對待這對夫妻,彷彿她不曾離開過這個家一樣。

 

莎拉追著牛羊跑,看著小豬在泥裡打滾,在自己習慣的小鋼琴前彈著自己喜愛的曲子,伍德夫婦也極高興莎拉回來了,像一家人幸福的日子從不曾遠去。

 

在平靜而幸福的日子的洗禮下,莎拉漸漸遺忘心中的傷痛,她重新提筆,奮力寫出她的第四部小說。有空時仍去騎馬奔馳在她喜愛的綠色山坡,秋天景緻宜人,更能令人遺忘一切的不快。

 

然後,冬天來了,下著雪的蒙特莊園雖然缺了很多綠意,卻有一番蕭條而迷人的味道。莎拉用她的筆,除了寫小說,也把之前未完成的散文寫完,寫著莊園內牽動她心弦的一事一物,用詞優雅迷人。

 

莎拉的第一本散文比她的第四部小說更早出版,而且一樣,一出版就獲得很好的評價,很多男士甚至以為寫這本散文的是個男人,因以往的慣例,能寫出優美散文的,在當時也只有敏感而細緻男人能創作出如此動人的作品。

 

莎拉埋首寫作,也不管自己成不成名,她終於知道能用筆寫下自己的喜怒哀樂才是最重要的,要真誠的透露真正的喜怒哀樂才能獲得共鳴。

 

之後的第四部小說幾近完成了,莎拉卻想暫緩寄給出版社,因為第四部小說,她尚未想到男女主角的結局。小說的結局非常重要,可看出作者的態度,故事的過程曲折而動人是必要的,可是結局呢?結局就像作者能掌握這些人物的命運,如同作者是命運之神本身。

 

莎拉思考著自己的能耐,她知道自己一向喜歡圓滿的結局,但命運之神不會給現實中的每個人都有幸福美滿的生活。於是,莎拉決定先放下寫作的筆,與其追求盲目的理想結局,不如想想值得警惕的事。

 

出外尋求靈感是莎拉目前最喜歡的事,優遊在大自然能洗滌身心的塵埃,更多時候,憂慮或不滿的情緒也會被拂去,而這正是莎拉目前最迫切而需要的。

 

天氣很冷,莎拉不騎馬,而漫步在莊園周遭;有時候走遠一點到附近的鎮上去看一些新鮮的事物。有時有些軍隊會駐紮在鎮上,鎮上就熱鬧許多,有時莎拉會去高處遠眺,想想自己已經經歷了那麼多,她開始學會看待自己的幸運,以及那小小的不幸。

 

如果人生像糖果,糖果有很多滋味;如果人生像水,有時平淡平靜有時波濤洶湧,如果人生不過是一串煙雲,那麼什麼期待也只是過多的依賴。

 

這天,雪下得很大,莎拉外出後,正設法努力走回去。雪都堆到幾乎膝蓋高,也幾乎令人寸步難行,天邊掛著晚霞,四周漸漸暗起來。莎拉有點心慌意亂,自己不該走太遠的,因為這離莊園還有好大一段路,她不喜歡暗的地方,太陽一下山四周就會暗得看不見光,更別提要是有什麼野獸就麻煩了。

 

莎拉一步一步困難地走著,並想辦法不讓自己跌倒受傷。四周已經很暗了,有點明亮的月光,但還是得小心地走著免得走錯方向。正當莎拉覺得自己聽到什麼聲音而害怕時,前面有個火光正在靠近––––

 

「太好了!」莎拉心想:一定是養父擔心她,出來找她了。莎拉想趕上前面火光,但是因為步履困難,一不小心,就會跌倒在一堆深深軟軟的雪花中,來的人趕忙將她攙扶起來,還說:「你是想讓我再次印象深刻嗎?莎拉?」

 

莎拉想自己是不是在作夢,這不是安德魯的聲音嗎?怎麼會?她仔細看著火光下那人的臉孔,是安德魯,是她日思夜想的安德魯-安德魯一臉笑意,正看著莎拉,莎拉忍不住大叫:「安德魯」

 

安德魯等莎拉站穩後,才牽住莎拉的手往莊園的方向走。此刻莎拉很想問問安德魯好不好,直到到了莊園,才聽到安德魯說:「莎拉,以後沒事別跑太遠,有很多人會擔心你的」

 

莎拉點點頭,安德魯又說:「我已經到你家好一會兒了,你的養父母說你外出去,我陪了他們一陣,看天色越來越暗就出來找你了」然後安德魯回頭對著莎拉說:「以後別再讓我操心了,好嗎?」莎拉心想,他該操心的或許是他自己未來的夫人,但她沒說出口,只是看著安德魯真摯地說出這番話很是感動。莎拉拍拍自己的衣裙:「我沒事的,別擔心」「那麼你答應嫁給我之後,能不再到處跑嗎?」

 

「什麼?」莎拉聽得一頭霧水,安德魯在火光消失前鼓起勇氣說:「你願意嫁給我嗎?莎拉?」莎拉簡直不敢想像自己聽到的是真的還是以為自己在作夢,她呆地楞在原處,安德魯笑了,再說一次:「你願意成為我的妻子嗎?莎拉?」

 

莎拉這次終於聽清楚安德魯語氣中愉快的音調。她顫抖而不可置信的問:「可是,可是你不是將和之前那位小姐結婚嗎?」安德魯搖頭:「那是誤會一場」莎拉繼續說:「但倫敦很多傳言說你即將結婚而且娶有錢人家的女兒」安德魯笑著說:「我向我的母親提過,娶公爵大人的女兒莎拉更為有利,你知道的,我家的"家族聯姻"條件向來嚴苛,既然你是公爵大人的女兒,就如我母親所願的娶要娶條件更好的女孩不是嗎?」「可是……」安德魯將莎拉拉到自己的懷抱:「別可是了,你記得自己說過的話嗎?只要等待,光明就會在眼前,我想你是對的,莎拉,人生很多時候需要等待來解決問題」

 

莎拉滿心歡喜擁抱著安德魯,感受他真誠的體溫,感受他誠摯不過的愛,此時火光熄了,但是明亮的月光正撒在他們身上,長久以來的等待,愛,果然在光明中盛開。

 

完~

 

(107.10..8)

 

________________________________________________



 Love in London

 

CHAPTER XIX

 

After the ball, Sarah did not become happy, her heart has been immersed in sad tears, although she can still force a smile on the outside, but from Andrew's own words, she learned that he was going to marry that woman, so that Sarah's whole person seemed to fall into the abyss, as if she was a drowning person, unable to breathe.

 

The Duke's family vaguely felt that Sarah was very different after the ball, but they couldn't say what it was, and they didn't ask much, only Anne once wanted to find out the reason for Sarah's sadness, and Sarah pursed her lips and refused to reveal a word. Sarah is immersed in her own grief, and occasionally Elena comes to visit her and bring her some interesting or uninteresting news.

 

Elena knew what Sarah was upset about, but she couldn't help in the slightest, and on the other hand, the news of Andrew Green's upcoming marriage was spreading. After all, Earl Andrew Green is the most famous golden bachelor in the social circle, not to mention that he has a talent for painting, and he is deeply rewarded by the Queen, who asked him to paint a picture, which is hung in the royal guest room, which is the best proof that the Queen values Earl Green.

 

Sarah was so overwhelmed with such an irresistible sadness that she couldn't even write. Winter is approaching, and Sarah, anxious and sad, decides to escape the rumors of London. She first asked for the Duke and Duchess's permission, and then wrote to inform the Woods that she was going to Monte Manor to spend the winter with them.

 

The reply came quickly, and the Woods certainly welcomed Sarah back to stay with them, as they missed Sarah too. Sarah packed her belongings, the pen she used to write her favorite, said goodbye to her family, and set off to return to the place where she grew up.

 

As she got closer to the familiar scene, Sarah's sad thoughts slowly faded a little. Along the way, Sarah lamented that there were too many twists and turns in her life, but fortunately she met wonderful people, otherwise in the bad life, would she be able to break through adversity and strive to move forward?

 

Back at Monte Manor, the Woods gave her a warm welcome. When Sarah returned to her old home, her old habits returned, and she still called Mr. and Mrs. Wood mother and father, and treated the couple as if she had never left the house.

 

Sarah ran after the cows and sheep, watching the piglets wallowing in the mud and playing their favorite tunes in front of the little piano that she was accustomed to, and the Woods were very happy that Sarah was back, like a happy family never far away.

 

After a day of peace and happiness, Sarah gradually forgot the pain in her heart, and she picked up her pen again and struggled to write her fourth novel. When she has free time, she still goes horseback riding and gallops on the green hillside she loves, and the autumn scenery is pleasant, which can make people forget all the unpleasantness.

 

Then, winter came, and the snowy Manor de Monte, lacking a lot of greenery, had a depressed and charming taste. Sarah used her pen to write not only novels, but also previously unfinished prose, writing about everything in the manor that tugged at her heartstrings, with elegant and charming words.

 

Sarah's first essay was published before her fourth novel, and as a result, it received so good reviews that many men even thought that it was written by a man, because of the convention of the past, only a sensitive and meticulous man could write such a moving work at the time.

 

Sarah immersed herself in writing, regardless of whether she became famous or not, she finally knew that being able to write down her joys, sorrows and sorrows with a pen was the most important thing, and she had to sincerely reveal her true joys, sorrows and sorrows in order to resonate.

 

The fourth novel is almost finished, but Sarah wants to postpone sending it to the publisher because she has not yet thought of the ending of the hero and heroine in the fourth novel. The ending of the novel is very important, you can see the author's attitude, the process of the story is tortuous and moving, but what about the ending? The ending is like the author can control the fate of these characters, as if the author is the god of fate himself.

 

Sarah pondered her abilities, knowing that she had always liked happy endings, but the gods of fate would not give everyone in reality a happy and happy life. So, Sarah decided to put down the pen of writing first, and instead of chasing a blind ideal ending, she should think about things to be wary of.

 

Going out for inspiration is Sarah's favorite thing to do at the moment, and swimming in nature can wash away the dust of her body and mind, and more often than not, worry or dissatisfaction will be swept away, which is what Sarah needs most urgently at the moment.

 

When the weather was cold, Sarah didn't ride a horse, but walked around the estate, sometimes walking a little further to the nearby town to see something new. Sometimes some army would be stationed in the town, and the town would be much more lively, and sometimes Sarah would go up high and look out and think about how much she had been through, and she began to learn to see her luck, and her little misfortune.

 

If life is like candy, candy has many flavors, if life is like water, sometimes plain and calm, sometimes turbulent, if life is just a string of smoke clouds, then what expectations are just too much dependence.

 

On this day, it was snowing heavily, and Sarah was trying to walk back after going out. The snow was knee-high, almost impassable, and the sunset was hanging on the horizon, and it was getting dark. Sarah was a little flustered, she shouldn't have gone too far, because it was still a long way from the manor, and she didn't like dark places, as soon as the sun went down the mountain, it would be so dark that she couldn't see the light, let alone any beasts.

 

Sarah walked with difficulty step by step, trying to keep herself from falling and getting hurt. It was already dark, a little moonlight, but you still had to be careful not to go in the wrong direction. Just as Sarah was scared of what she was hearing, a fire was approaching in front of her.

 

"Great!" Sarah thought to herself: her adoptive father must have been worried about her and had come out to look for her. Sarah tried to catch up with the fire, but because of the difficulty of walking, she would fall into a pile of deep soft snowflakes, and the people who came hurriedly helped her up, and said, "Do you want to impress me again?

 

Sarah wondered if she was dreaming, wasn't this Andrew's voice? How could it be? She looked carefully at the man's face in the firelight, it was Andrew, it was Andrew, who she had been thinking about day and night, with a smile on her face, looking at Sarah, Sarah couldn't help but shout, "Andrew"

 

Andrew waited for Sarah to stand firm before taking Sarah's hand and walking in the direction of the manor. At this moment, Sarah wanted to ask Andrew if he was okay, until she arrived at the manor, and she heard Andrew say, "Sarah, don't run too far if you have nothing to do in the future, there are many people who will worry about you."

 

Sarah nodded, and Andrew said, "I've been to your house for a while, and your adoptive parents said you went out, and I stayed with them for a while, and when it got darker, I came out to look for you" and then Andrew turned back to Sarah and said, "Don't let me worry about it in the future, okay?" Sarah thought to herself, maybe he should be worried about his own future wife, but she didn't say it, but she was very moved to see Andrew say this sincerely. Sarah patted her dress, "I'm fine, don't worry" "Then after you promise to marry me, can you stop running around?"

 

"What?" Sarah was confused, and Andrew mustered up the courage to say before the fire faded away, "Will you marry me, Sarah?" Sarah couldn't imagine whether what she heard was true or if she thought she was dreaming, she froze in place, Andrew laughed, and said again, "Will you be my wife?"

 

Sarah finally heard the pleasant tone in Andrew's tone this time. She asked trembling and incredulous, "But, aren't you going to marry the young lady from before?" Andrew shook his head, "That's a misunderstanding" Sarah continued, "But there are many rumors in London that you are about to get married and marry the daughter of a rich family" Andrew laughed and said, "I mentioned to my mother that it is more advantageous to marry Sarah, the daughter of the Duke, you know, my family's "family marriage" conditions have always been strict, since you are the daughter of the Duke, as my mother wishes, you have to marry a girl with better conditions, right?" But......" Andrew pulled Sarah into his arms, "Don't be, do you remember what you said, just wait, the light will be in front of you, I think you are right, Sarah, life often needs to wait to solve problems"

 

Sarah hugged Andrew with joy, feeling his sincere body temperature, feeling his sincere love, at this time the fire was extinguished, but the bright moonlight was sprinkled on them, and the long-waiting, love, really bloomed in the light.

 

The end~

 

(107.10..8)

 

因為用中文創作,再翻譯為英文,所以英文上的正確用詞無法翻譯出來,夫人可以意指"你的淑女身分"(代表的是當代的一種地位稱呼),公爵大人,伯爵大人,男爵大人等,小說中都有出現,抱歉,因為請Google翻譯翻譯的,而本人沒有從事過英文寫作,只想嘗試用英文表達整部小說的內容,敬請原諒!!謝謝!!

 

Because it is created in Chinese and then translated into English, the correct words in English cannot be translated, Madame can mean "your lady" (representing a contemporary status title), Lord Duke, Lord Earl, Lord Baron, etc., all appear in the novel, sorry, because I asked Google Translate to translate, and I have not been engaged in English writing, I just want to try to express the content of the whole novel in English, please forgive me!! Thank you!!

 

 

本小說創作如有雷同,純屬巧合,而小說寫作的年代約略定在與作家珍.奧斯汀同一年代

 

It is a coincidence that the novel was written in the same era as the writer Jane Austen 


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