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第十三章

 

莎拉被威爾夫人送回蒙特莊園已經過好一陣子了,威爾夫人將莎拉送回來時,還將送莎拉回來的理由說給伍德夫婦知道,她添油加醋的對這對老實的夫婦編派起莎拉的不是,害這對老夫婦以為莎拉真的做了什麼大逆不道的事。

 

伍德夫婦雖然疼愛莎拉,但並不寵溺她,伍德夫人著實地訓了莎拉一頓,因為莎拉讓她在自己的朋友威爾夫人面前臉上無光;而伍德先生卻偏向自己的女兒,說威爾夫人說話向來誇大其辭,好在這件事情惹的風波,也不過就只有回到蒙特莊園的幾天。幾天後,一切又恢復如常的平靜,伍德夫人顯然不願再提起丟臉的事,而伍德先生則一如往常疼愛他所喜愛的女兒。

 

莎拉很愧疚自己的父母承受了她所犯錯誤的壓力,但她喜歡安德魯是事實,如今仍絲毫未改變心意-不知道安德魯怎樣了?那天和安德魯在客廳忘情握手的一幕,仍深藏腦海,但被威爾夫人撞見,她氣壞了,立即派馬車將安德魯送回她表姊家,至於莎拉,則被送回自己家,結束這次家庭教師的生涯-莎拉很高興在回家之前,就能得知安德魯的心意,要不是如此,還要猜測彼此的心意多久,要等多久,才能得知安德魯對她的愛?安德魯對她的愛極為肯定且炙熱,她也是。

 

一開始莎拉還無法理解自己做錯什麼竟要被送回家,大著膽子去問威爾夫人,威爾夫人大發雷霆罵她是不知感恩的女孩,還說安德魯是將來的伯爵大人,只能娶有錢人家或貴族人家的小姐。莎拉終於明白為什麼所有人都在阻礙他們,原來這段毫無錯誤的愛錯在她沒有錢沒有地位,而這正是倫敦上流社所重視的聯姻資格。

 

莎拉.伍德是個不認命的人,但不認命又能如何?她和安德魯的確地位懸殊,她又如何能強硬的表示非安德魯不嫁!而安德魯又如何拋棄家族的傳統與責任來娶她這個"不夠資格的人"。

 

莎拉很心痛,知道自己將被犧牲在這些遊戲規則裏,而她也知道自己無能突破現狀,奔向安德魯的懷抱,只能鼓勵自己少想念安德魯-想起他專注畫畫的神情,側臉非常俊美,專注到似乎當下只剩下他一個人,偶而安德魯會側著臉對她笑了笑。

 

莎拉永遠記得這些美好的時刻,但現在安德魯不在身邊,自己也無心寫作,彷彿任何事都失去意義,連騎馬也不再那麼有趣;在彈鋼琴時,便想起安德魯倚在鋼琴邊,專心聆聽她彈曲子的模樣。每看到一幅畫,便想起安德魯沉浸在他自己畫中的世界,安德魯的一舉一動,莎拉都深深記住,無法忘懷,每當深夜忽然醒來,也會想起安德魯的影子,她想命令自己忘記,但思念卻越來愈深刻。

 

越想見安德魯,就越覺得心痛不已-想起安德魯開懷大笑的模樣,和現今愁眉不展的自己,簡直是極大的諷刺。

 

過些日子,查爾斯.摩爾不知從哪探聽到莎拉已經回到家的消息,竟來拜訪她,伍德夫人顯然很滿意查爾斯.摩爾,不斷鼓勵莎拉與之交往。伍德先生雖然看不下去自己夫人的作為,但也認為莎拉沉浸在愛情的悲劇中實在不是辦法,因此對查爾斯.摩爾時常來訪也無法推卻,查爾斯.摩爾和伍德一家家世相當,而且他長得也很體面,完全是一門完全無法挑剔的門當戶對的好對象。

 

莎拉雖然可以理解自己父母急著想將自己嫁出去的心態,對查爾斯.摩爾卻沒有任何特別的感覺,因為她已經將所有的愛交給安德魯,而且只能將這份愛深藏心中,讓它不斷敲打心房,提醒這一切是多讓人心痛。

 

因為這樣,莎拉見到查爾斯.摩爾總是強顏歡笑,查爾斯.摩爾並不知道莎拉的心事,他只知道莎拉看來總是心事重重,很難接近。但他還是極力想獲得莎拉的喜愛,他想讓時常懷著憂鬱神色的莎拉能開心起來。他陪著莎拉騎馬,陪她聊天,常帶著美麗的花來討莎拉歡欣,但莎拉還是經常沉著一張臉,一看就知道她只埋首在自己的世界中。

 

這舉動讓查爾斯.摩爾很好奇,但他不敢多問,他以為是自己不夠努力,直到有一天莎拉對她說:「查爾斯,我相信你對我的好意,但我恐怕要辜負你了,因為我已經有喜歡的人了」查爾斯.摩爾沒有想到拒絕決來得如此快又直接,他祝福莎拉能夠找到自己的幸福,垂頭喪氣地回去了,並且來訪莎拉的次數越來越少,到最後就不再登門拜訪了。

 

查爾斯.摩爾不再來訪讓莎拉覺得自己解脫了,伍德夫人卻抱怨莎拉將所有懷抱好意的人都推開了。威爾夫人還曾介紹一些年紀適當的年輕人給莎,莎拉還是一樣表現出有禮,但不多話的神色,伍德夫人為此又訓了莎拉一頓,說她莫非是想當嫁不出去的老處女。

 

伍德先生時常聽到自己的夫人如此憂心抱怨,聽得都嫌煩了。但伍德夫人顯然也沒放棄讓莎拉尋找更好的對象,她要求自己的丈夫多注意附近教區內有單身男子的家庭,並設法去拜訪他們,甚至鎮內各種聚會也參加,以便尋找好的人選,不過是希望莎拉多點機會認識不同的人。他們深知自己的女兒不同於其他女孩,害羞的個性裡滿藏著固執,且不會隨便妥協,看她對來訪的客人就知道,總是有禮而冷淡。

 

起先伍德先生還樂意聽從夫人的指令,但時日一久,就覺得不僅自己,連自己的女兒都很可憐,其實莎拉還年輕,不該如此急著出嫁,尤其適當的人很難挑選,更別提品格和家世都剛好適合的。每看到自己女兒常躲開自己母親那不知是壓力或憐憫的眼神,伍德先生都覺得這一切越來越荒謬。

 

莎拉自此之後,除了彈鋼琴、外出騎馬、或幫忙做家事,便整天關在房裡埋首寫作。她不斷看著父親的藏書,努力寫作,既然不能和自己相愛的人在一起,至少好好努力實現自己的夢想吧!至少可以減輕心靈被撕裂的痛楚,給她小說筆下的主角們都有個好的結局吧!至少,那能彌補自己無法幸福的遺憾……

 

 

待續~(107.10..2)



_________________________________________________

 

Love in London 

 

CHAPTER XIII

 

It had been a long time since Sarah had been sent back to Monte Manor by Mrs. Will, and when Mrs. Will sent Sarah back, she told Mr. and Mrs. Wood that she had made up Sarah's for the honest couple to make up for her, causing the old couple to think that Sarah had really done something rebellious.

 

Mrs. Wood gave Sarah a serious lecture for her, for she had made her look disgraceful in front of her friend Mrs. Will, while Mr. Wood was partial to his daughter, saying that Mrs. Will had always been exaggerated, but that the incident had only been a matter of a few days back at Monte Manor. After a few days, all was calm again, and Mrs. Wood apparently did not want to speak of the humiliation again, while Mr. Wood continued to love his beloved daughter.

 

Sarah feels guilty that her parents are under the pressure of the mistakes she made, but she likes Andrew for a fact and still hasn't changed her mind in the slightest - I wonder what happened to Andrew? The scene of shaking hands with Andrew in the living room that day was still deeply in her mind, but when Mrs. Will bumped into her, she was angry and immediately sent a carriage to send Andrew back to her cousin's house, and Sarah was sent back to her own house to end her career as a governess - Sarah was glad to know Andrew's heart before she went home, and if not, how long would she have to guess what each other's hearts were, and how long would it take to know Andrew's love for her? Andrew was very sure and hot of her love, and so was she.

 

At first, Sarah could not understand what she had done wrong and was going to be sent home, so she dared to ask Mrs. Will, who was furious and scolded her for being a grateful girl, and said that Andrew was the future Lord Earl and could only marry a lady from a rich or noble family. Sarah finally understands why everyone is holding them back, and it turns out that the fault of this unmistakable love is that she has no money and no status, which is the qualification for marriage that the London High Society values.

 

Sarah .Wood is a person who does not accept her fate, but what can she do if she does not accept her fate? She and Andrew are indeed very disparity, how can she forcefully say that she will not marry unless Andrew! and how can Andrew abandon the family tradition and responsibility to marry her, a "person who is not qualified enough".

 

Sarah was heartbroken, knowing that she would be sacrificed to these rules of the game, and she also knew that she was incapable of breaking through the status quo and running to Andrew's arms, so she could only encourage herself to miss Andrew less - remembering his expression of concentration on painting, his side face was very handsome, so focused that it seemed that he was the only one left at the moment, and occasionally Andrew would smile at her with a sideways face.

 

Sarah will always remember these beautiful moments, but now that Andrew is not around, and she has no intention of writing, as if nothing is meaningless, even horseback riding is no longer so interesting, and when she plays the piano, she remembers Andrew leaning on the piano and listening intently to her music. Every time I see a painting, I think of Andrew's immersion in the world of his own paintings, Andrew's every move, Sarah remembers it deeply, can't forget, every time she suddenly wakes up in the middle of the night, she will also think of Andrew's shadow, she wants to order herself to forget, but the thoughts are getting deeper and deeper.

 

The more I wanted to see Andrew, the more my heart ached - it was a great irony to think of Andrew's laughing appearance and his current sorrowful self.

 

A few days later, Charles. Moore somehow heard that Sarah had returned home and came to visit her, and Mrs. Wood was apparently pleased with Charles. Moore and encouraged her to associate with her. Although Mr. Wood could not stand the actions of his wife, he also thought that it was not a solution for Sarah to immerse himself in the tragedy of love, so he could not refuse, Charles. Moore and the Wood family were of the same family, and he was also very decent, and he was a good match for a person who could not be faulted at all.

 

Although Sarah can understand her parents' eagerness to marry her off, she has no special feelings for Charles. Moore, because she has given all her love to Andrew, and can only hide this love deep in her heart, let it keep beating on the heart, reminding her of how heart-wrenching it is.

 

Because of this, Sarah always forced a smile when she saw Charles. Moore, who didn't know what was going on in Sarah's mind, he only knew that Sarah always seemed to be preoccupied and difficult to approach. But he still tries his best to win Sarah's affection, and he wants to make Sarah, who is often melancholy, happy. He rode with Sarah, chatted with her, and often brought beautiful flowers to please Sarah, but Sarah often kept a calm face, and at a glance she knew that she was only buried in her own world.

 

This made Charles. Moore very curious, but he didn't dare to ask more, he thought that he hadn't tried hard enough, until one day Sarah said to her, "Charles, I believe in your kindness to me, but I'm afraid I'm going to let you down, because I already have someone I like" Charles Moore didn't expect the refusal to come so quickly and directly, he wished Sarah to find his happiness, and went back dejected, and visited Sarah less and less, and finally stopped visiting.

 

While Sarah felt relieved that Charles .Moore was no longer visiting, Mrs. Wood complained that Sarah had pushed away all those who had good intentions. Mrs. Will had introduced some young men of the right age to Shah, and Sarah was still polite but not much to say, and Mrs. Wood reprimanded Sarah for this, saying that she wanted to be an old virgin who could not be married.

 

Mr. Wood was often tired of hearing his wife complain so worriedly. But Mrs. Wood apparently did not give up on Sarah's search for a better partner, and she asked her husband to pay more attention to the families of single men in the nearby parish, and to try to visit them, and even attend various gatherings in the town, in order to find good candidates, but she hoped that Sarah would have more opportunities to meet different people. They know that their daughter is different from other girls, her shy personality is full of stubbornness, and she will not compromise casually, and she will always be polite and cold to visiting guests.

 

At first, Mr. Wood was willing to obey his wife's instructions, but as time went on, he felt that not only himself, but also his own daughter was pitiful, in fact, Sarah was still young, and should not be in such a hurry to marry, especially the right person was difficult to choose, let alone the right character and family background. Every time he saw his daughter often avoiding her mother's eyes that were not known to be pressure or pity, Mr. Wood felt that all this was becoming more and more ridiculous.

 

Since then, when Sarah has been playing the piano, riding horses, or helping with household chores, she has been locked up in her room all day and immersed herself in writing. She kept looking at her father's collection of books and worked hard to write, since she couldn't be with the person she loved, at least she should work hard to realize her dreams! At least she could alleviate the pain of her heart being torn apart, and give the protagonists of her novels a happy ending......

 

To be continued ~ (107.10..2)

 

因為用中文創作,再翻譯為英文,所以英文上的正確用詞無法翻譯出來,夫人可以意指"你的淑女身分"(代表的是當代的一種地位稱呼),公爵大人,伯爵大人,男爵大人等,小說中都有出現,抱歉,因為請Google翻譯翻譯的,而本人沒有從事過英文寫作,只想嘗試用英文表達整部小說的內容,敬請原諒!!謝謝!!

 

Because it is created in Chinese and then translated into English, the correct words in English cannot be translated, Madame can mean "your lady" (representing a contemporary status title), Lord Duke, Lord Earl, Lord Baron, etc., all appear in the novel, sorry, because I asked Google Translate to translate, and I have not been engaged in English writing, I just want to try to express the content of the whole novel in English, please forgive me!! Thank you!!

 

 

本小說創作如有雷同,純屬巧合,而小說寫作的年代約略定在與作家珍.奧斯汀同一年代

 

It is a coincidence that the novel was written in the same era as the writer Jane Austen


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