Retiring Separately But Coping Together
分別退休 共同面對新生活
By Tara Siegel Bernard

For Daniel Ryan, turning 40 and 50 came and went. But sometime around his 61st birthday last July, he said he had an “old man crisis.”
對萊恩而言，40歲與50歲就這麼過去了。然而在去年七月他61歲生日的前後，他卻說，他面臨「老年危機」。

He did some simple math, and concluded that living another 20 years would be considered a “full life.” Even if he remained healthy for another 15 years, he figured he might only be able to maintain his active lifestyle of skiing, hiking and mountain biking for another decade.
他簡單計算後認為，再活20年就是所謂的「完整生命」。他估量，即使保持健康15年，他滑雪、健行、騎車登山的活躍生活方式或許也只能再維持10年。

“Looking at the rest of my life this way hit me like a ton of bricks,” Mr. Ryan said.
萊恩說：「如此看待餘生歲月讓我大受震撼。」

Five months later, he retired. After spending 36 years in sales and marketing at MillerCoors, the beer company, he was in the enviable position of having a pension and ample savings. The challenge, he said, is that his wife, Cheryl, 58, is still fully engaged in her interior design business, where she often logs 12-hour days. So he has to negotiate both his new play schedule and his wife’s work schedule.
五個月後，他退休了。在美國MillerCoors啤酒公司行銷部門工作36年之後，他享有令人羨慕的優渥退休金與足夠的儲蓄。他說，挑戰是，他58歲的妻子雪莉還在從事全職的室內設計工作，而且經常每天工作12小時。因此，他必須協調自己的新遊樂計畫與她的工作時間表。

“There is no easy answer,” said Mr. Ryan, who lives in Milwaukee but spends a considerable amount of time skiing in Utah, which, he said, means his wife comes home to an empty, dark house. “Hopefully we both stay healthy and the strength of our 36-year marriage will help us ride out these bumps until we get at least near the same page.”
萊恩住在密爾瓦基市，卻花許多時間在猶他州滑雪。他說，這意味他的妻子下班回家，面對的經常是未開燈的空房子。他說：「這個問題很難解決。只希望我倆都能保有健康，而36年婚姻打下的基礎也能幫助我們通過這些考驗，直到我倆至少達到差不多的狀態為止。」

With more and more baby boomers retiring each year, either by choice or because they lost their jobs in the economic downturn, many couples must coexist in different phases of life. Living two different realities can lead to a variety of challenges, both financial and emotional, from brewing resentments about how a partner is spending free time, to how to reconcile the spending preferences of a retiree and of someone still collecting a paycheck.
嬰兒潮世代退休的人一年比一年多，有的是自主的決定，有的是因為經濟衰退而失業，許多夫妻必須共同面對不同的人生階段。兩種不同的生活方式可能衍生財務與情緒上的多種挑戰，包括對伴侶如何安排空閒時間滋生抱怨，以及如何協調一名退休族與還在工作的另一半的花錢偏好。

“A lot of people carry around this misunderstanding that if you disagree about something it’s a problem,” said Susan Zimmerman, a financial consultant and marriage and family therapist. “A big part of what I do is remind people that disagreeing and having varying opinions on how things can be isn’t a problem, but necessitates more discussion.”
財務顧問兼婚姻、家庭治療師蘇珊‧辛默曼說：「許多人誤以為對某件事意見不同，一定有問題。我工作的主要內容之一是，提醒人們，對事物有不同意見不是問題，卻需要更多討論。」

One of the first big discussions for a couple retiring at different times should revolve around the retirement schedule itself. One partner may be more than willing to sell the family home so they can more easily afford to retire, while the other may want to continue working, for example.
與退休時程本身有關的事，是不同階段退休的夫婦所應討論的最重大題目之一。例如，其中一人可能想賣掉房子，使兩人得以更輕鬆退休，另外一人則可能想要繼續工作。

Starting the dialogue with the facts, experts said, is one way to lessen the chances for conflict. It’s hard to argue with the numbers if you have an independent financial expert use timetables to analyze how long your retirement portfolio could last.
專家說，針對事實進行討論是降低衝突機率的方法之一。如果你委託立場超然的財務專家以各種時間表代為分析你的退休財務組合可能持續多久，這些數字很難反駁。

Dana Anspach, a financial planner, said she uses an income timeline that shows when certain sources of income will stop (like one spouse’s salary) and when others will begin (like a pension). The couple should then match that income against their living expenses.
財務規畫師丹娜‧安斯帕克說，她使用的一種時間表可以顯示特定收入何時會中止（如配偶的薪水），以及什麼時候會開始有其他收入（如退休金）。這時候，夫妻就該依此量入為出。

The “gap” will show how much needs to be tapped from, say, a retirement asset, or what changes they need to make to live on one salary. “It’s a math problem,” she said, adding that, in some cases, not saving any longer and living on one salary is enough to solve it. “Once couples know their finances are in order, they often find it much easier for one to retire earlier than another.”
「落差」會顯示必須從退休資產當中提出多少，或該如何調整以便靠一分薪水生活。她說：「這是算術問題。」她又說，某些情況下，不再儲蓄，只靠一筆收入也能解決問題。她說：「一對夫婦了解財務沒有問題後，常會發現一個人先退休變得容易多了。」

But that does not necessarily prepare couples for some conflicts that arise when daily routines become so different.
然而夫妻未必因此就能應付因日常活動變得如此不同而產生的衝突。

“Do I tell her that I am out on my Adirondack chair on my third beer, or that I have been pushing the vacuum all morning?” joked Larry Hemstreet, who is 67 and retired from his job at the National Aeronautics and Space Administration. Mr. Hemstreet, who lives in Menlo Park, California, with his wife, Susan, 61, said she would continue working as an executive assistant for a technology firm for a few more years.
67歲的韓斯垂特已自美國太空總署退休。他開玩笑說：「我該告訴她，我坐在戶外休閒靠椅上享受第三杯啤酒，還是我整個早上都在吸地？」他與61歲的妻子蘇珊住在加州曼洛公園市。他說，她會繼續在一家科技公司做幾年行政助理。

Jeff Hazlett, a retired lawyer in Dayton, Ohio, whose wife continues to work, said he was surprise by his new feelings about spending.
哈茲雷是俄亥俄州戴頓市的退休律師，他的的妻子還在工作。他說，他被自己對於花錢的新感覺嚇了一跳。

“When I retired, there was an insidious shift in my mind from ‘our money’ to ‘her money,’ ” he said. “When I stopped working but still spent, at times I felt guilty for doing so.”
他說：「我退休時，腦海隱約出現從『我們的錢」轉為『她的錢』的改變。當我不再工作卻繼續花錢時，有時候會有些愧疚感。」

Conversely, working spouses may continue to spend on niceties like dining out, which can make retirees uncomfortable.
相反的，還在工作的夫妻可能繼續把錢花在一起外出用餐之類的享受上。這可能使退休族感到不自在。

Part of the solution, Ms. Zimmerman said, is probably easier said than done. “When spouses have different retirement timing, they need to start with, and accept, that mental difference.”
辛默曼說說：「夫妻在不同時間退休，先得接受這種心理上的差異。」她表示，這麼做或許有些幫助，只是說易行難。

原文參照：
http://www.nytimes.com/2014/03/22/your-money/coping-when-not-entering-retirement-together.html

2014-04-08聯合報/G9版/UNITEDDAILYNEWS 陳世欽譯 原文參見紐時週報八版左