|
|
請那位掌櫃代為翻譯一下 yogibear89: Why against Two China? 貼文
|
2004/11/11 13:21 瀏覽1,762 ｜回應22｜推薦1 |
|
|
|
yogibear89 君 一時不便用中文打字
為便棧友回應 請在線上的掌櫃翻譯一下如何
|
|
Don"t worry.. It is not really important.
|
|
|
2004/11/14 04:30 推薦0 |
|
|
|
Moya, Take you time, working on it while you feel boring or just do nothing at all. They are all fine with me and thanks for your attention...
|
|
A poem version, Inspired by Moya
|
|
|
2004/11/14 04:14 推薦3 |
|
|
|
MadKao’s Wild Fantasy Poem
Inspired by Moya
Would long for the day, when up to the mountains.
Hidden in the thick desirous tree woods,
a little bamboo cottage of desire, my own hands raise..
From west-side window, peep through the bamboo drape,
The floating ribbon white cloud, spiral around the mountainsides,
as though the lady, graceful strolling, towards.
Since then, count no more of the days passing.
Since then, memorize no more the years of mountain dwelling.
Desire no more, just caress a string of no longer red,
red beans of lovesick ,Day by day,
babbling out words and aging away.
|
|
I will translate it, but give me a break...
|
|
|
2004/11/13 18:58 推薦0 |
|
|
|
I just finished big translation for my own site these two days. I feel very tired now.
The poem "How do I love thee" is beautiful, I would like to translate it, but I could not give you promise when I will finsih it. Okay?
|
|
感恩 不止我．．．．．
|
|
|
2004/11/13 14:33 推薦1 |
|
|
|
來麻棧的 不笨笨的每一位網友
都因各位漂亮的 不藏私的討論 受益匪淺
感恩 不止我．．．．．對吧
|
|
Thanks Moya, Your Points Are Well Taken....
|
|
|
2004/11/13 13:24 推薦1 |
|
|
|
Dear Moya,
I confess that I have never been formally trained in either Chinese or English literature more than high school level, and I have never tried hard enough to become a poet. Nevertheless, write poetic like short sentences is my favorite past time.
Thanks for the criticism, and your points are well taken. I'll have to admit that those two translations are not even 80 % satisfactory to myself.
I feel I am compelled to explain some of your criticism, one is that the original “Casual” is a poem, so I treated it as such, and when I feel Mr. MadKao’s “Wild Dream” is a essay, I too treated it as it supposed to be. If I have changed the tune to a poem, I would have been rewritten the original creation. Another one will be the using of word “Occasional”, I believe it will work as well, but I feel the word “Casual” will be more powerful and be easier to fit into the poet’s life style and his destiny.
It is now apparent that you are a passionate artist. Following is a very popular English poem that I dear the most. Would you like to do me a favor, translate it into Chinese with new poem form? Thanks a million..
How do I love thee
By Elizabeth Barrett Browning
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of everyday's
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.I
I love thee with a passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints, --- I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life! --- and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.
Best Regards
YogiBear
|
|
給Yogibear：試評你兩首詩的翻譯
|
|
|
2004/11/13 11:24 推薦2 |
|
|
|
關於詩的翻譯最難的就是保留她原有的韻味、節奏與意思，節奏也包括所謂的斷句。看你所翻的兩首詩，一首徐志摩的「偶然」，另一首是狂老的「想思狂想曲」，基本上你的翻譯都沒有什麼問題，英文也很符合中文的原意，這在翻譯上就對了一半，但其他方面，還要顧慮我所說的韻味、節奏（斷句）的問題，那麼這樣譯詩的工作基本上就算完美了。
其實所有的翻譯工作，以翻譯詩最難！因為詩有其意境，是很內心、很感情化的，好的譯詩工作部不要翻出她的原汁原味，還要兼顧詩本身的意境及韻味。
你要我給你一些建議和批評，我還是會給你很大的掌聲，鼓勵你的勇氣，因為英文好不見得會翻譯，會翻譯不見得會翻譯詩。
再說每個人翻譯都有自己的感覺，所以翻出來的東西每個人都會不一樣，但重要的是，要如何把握原味呢？這點相當的重要。
基本上，你的第一首英譯詩"Casual"，如果標題改為"Occasionally
"或許會更貼近原意——這是我個人的看法。因為揣摩徐志摩寫這首詩的心境，他的「偶然」並非不經心或隨便的意思，你使用"casual"這個字會讓人有這樣的感覺，徐志摩的「偶然」是不預期的，是偶爾的，是一個副詞，並非形容詞，他是要形容一個動作，一個兩人交會的動作，所以感覺上用"occasionally"會更貼切。
再來，徐志摩所說的投影並非說是雲的影子本身，而是一種「反射與映出」，所以你用"Shadows casually over your heart"是一種不適切的用法，應用"reflect "這個字較為適當。要我翻「偶而投影在你的波心」這句的話，我會這樣翻：
Ocassionally, reflected in your heart
還有很多地方，一時也講不完，或許有空我會另翻一篇與你的做比較，這樣可以或許對你會有些幫助。
至於你新翻狂老的這一篇，說老實話，問題還是一樣，用字淺詞的不同就有很不一樣的感受，你所翻的這篇比較沒有詩的韻味，是很可惜之處。
你前後兩篇英譯詩相較之下，前者「偶然」至少還掌握了詩的韻味，而狂老的這篇原意是對了，但少了詩的韻味——這是慕亞的淺見。
|
|
A paradox, isn"t it ?
|
|
|
2004/11/13 07:46 推薦0 |
|
|
|
Maintain status quo, and hope ROC will survive and thrive eventually...
|
|
主權與治權
|
|
|
2004/11/13 05:50 推薦1 |
|
|
|
Yogibear不用太介意，當我寫上一篇的時候，第一段只是開個頭，輕鬆一下而已，真正的重點是第二段有關唐‧吉訶德的部分。
另外，關於大家提到有關中華民國主權的問題，我不覺得藍營認為或者應該認為中華民國的主權只及於台、澎、金、馬，而是因為政治現實與國共對抗的歷史因素，中華民國的治權僅能及於此。如果藍營也主張中華民國的主權只包含台、澎、金、馬，那麼它與綠營的台灣共和國主張本質上一樣，成為五十步笑百步。在這個情況下，兩個中國與一中一台，兩者意義沒有差別。
這種主權與治權分開的觀念，事實上是在李登輝政府任內確立的。其後出現的「一中各表」口頭共識，基本上也是這個觀念的延伸。但是後來產生變化，由於政客操弄，從兩國論開始，變成「中華民國就是台灣」的口頭論述，放棄了主權與治權分開的積極意義，我覺得這樣做是自掘墳墓。主權與治權分開的觀念，其例子在美國出現過。美國南北戰爭時期，當時林肯政府的治權就不及於南方。
|
|
Sorry ! It was I, gave the false info..
|
|
|
2004/11/13 02:13 推薦1 |
|
|
|
I apologize, It is my fault. I gave the false information to everyone.
Moya, Is the translation that good ? Have some confidence in me, please ! I did my first cut of translation and posted on the "yuan.sina.com" five years ago. The one you are having right now is the second improved version. Maybe later on when I have more life experiences I will revise it again.
I guess they are both famous contemporary new poet that I love the most. I got mixed up..
|
|
Ah! another one. "..I did make..."
|
|
|
2004/11/13 01:39 推薦0 |
|
|
|
Alex, Could you find more...
|
|
|
本城市首頁
看回應文章
