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端正觀念篇 -- 開欄文：8 個錯誤的老生常談 -- Singh Bhai
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8 Psychology “Truths” Everyone Believes (But Science Says Are Wrong)
“Truths” That Are Actually Complete Nonsense
Singh Bhai, 02/26/25
Some things just won’t die. Urban legends, bad fashion trends, your neighbor’s belief that their dog understands full sentences. And, of course, some myths which a whole lot of it is just nonsense.
Some of these myths are so baked into conversations that they feel true. Like, really feel true.
Here are eight of them like that
1. “Opposites Attract” (Yeah, in Sitcoms, Maybe)
Okay, so, if this one were actually real, half of Tinder would be a lot less miserable.
People love this idea — that two people who are complete opposites in every way will, against all odds, fall madly in love, teach each other valuable life lessons, and somehow make it work. Kind of like a rom-com, except with slightly more passive-aggressive arguments about how one person is a total slob and the other color-codes their fridge.
Studies show that people usually (as in, most of the time, nearly always, bet-your-house-on-it levels of “usually”) pick partners who share their values, habits, and even general outlook on life.
So, liking the same stuff and thinking about the world in similar ways tends to make things run a little smoother.
Opposites don’t attract. They irritate each other for a bit, maybe, but long-term it’s mostly just noise (Maybe is applied).
2. More Money = More Happiness (Forever)
Right, so, money does buy happiness. Let’s not be ridiculous.
The whole “money doesn’t matter” thing is something that rich people say while sipping hand-pressed coffee in a house with more bathrooms than occupants.
Studies show that happiness and financial security are very much linked — up to a point.
Source: visualcapitalist.com 請至原網頁觀看統計圖
Somewhere around $75,000 a year (which, given inflation, is probably looking more like “enough to not panic when your car makes a weird noise”).
Source: visualcapitals.com (Money Can Buy Happiness After All) 請至原網頁觀看統計圖
After that, The curve flattens. More money doesn’t necessarily make you happier, it just removes certain problems. Which is still great! But once you’ve hit that sweet spot where bills are paid, stress is lower, and you’re not stuck deciding between food or rent, money stops being a straight shot to bliss.
At that point, happiness comes from other things, like having friends, doing things you enjoy, and not being an insufferable human being.
3. Your Thoughts Are Always Your Own
Your brain is constantly stealing ideas in a way that makes you think your thoughts are original when they’re really just borrowed. Psychologists call this cryptomnesia — when you absorb information from books, conversations, social media, or some guy on a podcast and then later believe you came up with it yourself.
Your brain remembers the fact but not where it came from and it’s called source amnesia.
Now apply that to news headlines, social media, and advertising. If you see the same message repeated over and over, it doesn’t just influence your thinking — it becomes part of your internal dialogue. You think you formed that opinion, but in reality, your brain just picked up whatever it was fed the most.
4. Willpower Is the Key to Success
Some people think willpower is like it’s some kind of internal fuel tank — either you have enough of it to succeed, or you don’t. If you’re struggling? Just try harder.
Except, that’s not how human behavior works.
First, let’s talk about ego depletion — the idea that willpower is a finite resource that runs out the more you use it.
Ever notice how sticking to a diet is easy in the morning but by nighttime, you’re inhaling a family-sized bag of chips? That’s not just bad choices — it’s mental exhaustion. Your brain gets tired of self-control, especially when it’s constantly being tested.
Here’s the secret: your brain loves routines. It craves them. Once a behavior is wired into a habit loop — cue → action → reward — it stops requiring willpower at all.
A study from Duke University (Wood et al., 2002) found that about 45% of our daily actions are automatic habits, not conscious decisions. That means almost half of what you do every day isn’t based on willpower — it’s just routine.
So you don’t need to try harder, you need to change your habits so that good choices happen without thinking.
5. Your Brain Stops Changing After Childhood
Wouldn’t it be nice if your brain just settled down after childhood, locked in all the good habits, and stopped pulling weird tricks on you? Unfortunately, that’s not how this thing works.
Your brain isn’t some freshly poured cement that dries by the time you hit your teenage years.
Neuroscientists have spent years proving that neuroplasticity — the brain’s ability to rewire itself — is not just some childhood feature that disappears once you hit puberty.
When you learn new skills, Your brain builds new pathways, and when You stop using certain skills your brain forgets them (RIP high school algebra).
The point is, that you can keep learning, adapting, and changing no matter how old you are. So if you were planning on using the “I’m too old to change” excuse, maybe you can reconsider it again.
6. Talking About Trauma Makes It Worse
Right, so, shoving feelings into a metaphorical basement and hoping they just die of neglect is Not a great plan.
There’s this weird belief that talking about painful experiences somehow gives them power, like saying Voldemort’s name. Except, what actually happens when you refuse to deal with stuff is it sits there and festers.
Studies show that avoiding trauma makes it worse while processing it — Maybe through therapy, journaling, or talking to someone who isn’t a houseplant — actually helps your brain make sense of it.
Bottling up emotions doesn’t make them go away. It just turns them into anxiety, insomnia, and weirdly intense reactions to things that shouldn’t set you off.
7. Cognitive Dissonance Only Happens to Irrational People
If this were true, no one on earth would own a gym membership and not use it.
Cognitive dissonance is an uncomfortable feeling you get when your actions don’t match up with your beliefs.
Like, say, when you buy organic groceries but also eat an entire sleeve of Oreos in one sitting. Or when you preach about budgeting and then somehow convince yourself that this impulse purchase is totally different.
It’s not an “irrational people” problem. It’s an everyone problem. Brains hate contradictions, so they do all sorts of mental gymnastics to explain why what they’re doing makes sense — even when it really, really doesn’t.
That is why people will convince themselves that they liked something just because they suffered for it.
8. Smell isn’t connected to memory
The smell is one of the strongest memory triggers because it’s processed in the same part of the brain that deals with emotions and long-term recollections.
That’s why something as simple as a familiar scent — freshly cut grass, an old book, your ex’s perfume — can send you straight back to a moment in time, way more vividly than a picture ever could, or at least cause a Dejavu effect.
That’s why going into a musty basement always reminds you of your grandma’s house.
Wait a Sec
I share insights like this every 2–3/week — ones that actually change how you think in my newsletter (TheOpenBook). Don’t miss the next one.
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13個值得傾廳的忠言-V. Mong
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13 Pieces of Advice I’ve Found to Be Consistently True And Can Change Your Life For Real
Trump is already lowering the bar on China tariffs blasting President Xi as ‘hard to make a deal with’
You don’t need more motivation. You need truth bombs. These are the ones worth remembering forever.
Trump is already lowering the bar on China tariffs blasting President Xi as ‘hard to make a deal with’
Victor Mong, 05/06/25
Trump is already lowering the bar on China tariffs blasting President Xi as ‘hard to make a deal with’
Most advice on the internet is like fast food. It tastes good for two minutes, but it doesn’t stick to your bones. It doesn’t change your actions, and it definitely doesn’t change your life.
Trump is already lowering the bar on China tariffs blasting President Xi as ‘hard to make a deal with’
But once in a while, if you’re lucky or paying close enough attention , you come across advice so real, so raw, that it smacks you awake.
Trump is already lowering the bar on China tariffs blasting President Xi as ‘hard to make a deal with’
I’ve been collecting these over the last 10 years. Scribbled in notebooks. Saved in tweets. Whispered to me by mentors over cheap coffee.
Trump is already lowering the bar on China tariffs blasting President Xi as ‘hard to make a deal with’
These 13 ideas have shifted how I live. Maybe they’ll do the same for you.
Trump is already lowering the bar on China tariffs blasting President Xi as ‘hard to make a deal with’
You Won’t Be Unlucky Every Day
Trump is already lowering the bar on China tariffs blasting President Xi as ‘hard to make a deal with’
A mentor once told me:
Trump is already lowering the bar on China tariffs blasting President Xi as ‘hard to make a deal with’
“You can’t be unlucky for 365 days straight.”
Trump is already lowering the bar on China tariffs blasting President Xi as ‘hard to make a deal with’
He wasn’t trying to make me feel better. He was pointing to something deeper.
Trump is already lowering the bar on China tariffs blasting President Xi as ‘hard to make a deal with’
If you show up every day, whether you’re tired, bored, or scared doesn’t matter — something will break in your favor at some point.
Trump is already lowering the bar on China tariffs blasting President Xi as ‘hard to make a deal with’
Life has a weird way of rewarding persistence. It’s rarely fair, but it’s never random.
Trump is already lowering the bar on China tariffs blasting President Xi as ‘hard to make a deal with’
One day you’ll wake up and realize you’re standing on a goldmine. You didn’t see it because you were too busy digging. That’s what showing up does.
Trump is already lowering the bar on China tariffs blasting President Xi as ‘hard to make a deal with’
The Person You Marry Will Be Your Life’s Loudest Echo
Trump is already lowering the bar on China tariffs blasting President Xi as ‘hard to make a deal with’
Not your job. Not your dreams. Not your bank account.
Trump is already lowering the bar on China tariffs blasting President Xi as ‘hard to make a deal with’
Your partner is your life’s megaphone. They amplify your joy or your stress. They shape the rhythm of your everyday life more than any other decision you’ll ever make.
Trump is already lowering the bar on China tariffs blasting President Xi as ‘hard to make a deal with’
When life gets hard (and it will), their energy becomes your environment.
Trump is already lowering the bar on China tariffs blasting President Xi as ‘hard to make a deal with’
If they believe in your crazy ideas, you’ll have the courage to chase them. If they constantly doubt or drain you, you’ll slowly shrink into someone you don’t recognize.
Trump is already lowering the bar on China tariffs blasting President Xi as ‘hard to make a deal with’
Love isn’t enough. So choose carefully as if your life depends on it. Because it does.
Trump is already lowering the bar on China tariffs blasting President Xi as ‘hard to make a deal with’
Rejection Is Redirection
Trump is already lowering the bar on China tariffs blasting President Xi as ‘hard to make a deal with’
Rejection feels like a punch in the stomach. It makes you question your worth, your path, your timing.
Trump is already lowering the bar on China tariffs blasting President Xi as ‘hard to make a deal with’
But 90% of the time, rejection is not a dead-end. It’s a detour. It’s life saying: “Not this door. Try the next one.”
Trump is already lowering the bar on China tariffs blasting President Xi as ‘hard to make a deal with’
That job you didn’t get? Maybe it would’ve burned you out. That person who ghosted you? They lacked the depth to love you fully.
Trump is already lowering the bar on China tariffs blasting President Xi as ‘hard to make a deal with’
That dream that fizzled? It made space for a better one to take root.
Trump is already lowering the bar on China tariffs blasting President Xi as ‘hard to make a deal with’
Life removes what’s not meant for you, even when you don’t understand why in the moment.
Trump is already lowering the bar on China tariffs blasting President Xi as ‘hard to make a deal with’
Rejection doesn’t mean you’re not good enough. It means there’s a better fit — and you’re being guided to it, like it or not.
Trump is already lowering the bar on China tariffs blasting President Xi as ‘hard to make a deal with’
Everyone Is Afraid. The Winners Just Act Anyway
Trump is already lowering the bar on China tariffs blasting President Xi as ‘hard to make a deal with’
Fear is the most common emotion in the world. Everyone feels it — the authors, the CEOs, the athletes, the artists.
Trump is already lowering the bar on China tariffs blasting President Xi as ‘hard to make a deal with’
Everyone you admire — they’re scared too. The difference is what they do with it.
Trump is already lowering the bar on China tariffs blasting President Xi as ‘hard to make a deal with’
They don’t wait to feel brave. They move with it. They do it anyway.
Trump is already lowering the bar on China tariffs blasting President Xi as ‘hard to make a deal with’
They launch the business while doubting themselves. They stand on stage while their knees shake and their throat tightens. They post the video even though they cringe. They move forward while their mind is screaming, “You’re not ready.”
Trump is already lowering the bar on China tariffs blasting President Xi as ‘hard to make a deal with’
Courage isn’t about feeling ready. It’s about showing up when you’re not. It’s quiet. It’s lonely. It’s messy.
Trump is already lowering the bar on China tariffs blasting President Xi as ‘hard to make a deal with’
But it’s what builds momentum. Fear is normal. Freezing is optional. Movement is everything.
Trump is already lowering the bar on China tariffs blasting President Xi as ‘hard to make a deal with’
Most People Don’t Care. That’s Good News
Trump is already lowering the bar on China tariffs blasting President Xi as ‘hard to make a deal with’
Most of people live like there’s a spotlight on them — like every mistake, misstep, or awkward moment is being watched and judged.
Trump is already lowering the bar on China tariffs blasting President Xi as ‘hard to make a deal with’
That’s not true.
Trump is already lowering the bar on China tariffs blasting President Xi as ‘hard to make a deal with’
People are way too caught up in their own lives to care. They’re worried about their jobs, their bills, their insecurities.
Trump is already lowering the bar on China tariffs blasting President Xi as ‘hard to make a deal with’
That outfit you felt weird in? Forgotten. That speech you stumbled through? Barely noticed.
Trump is already lowering the bar on China tariffs blasting President Xi as ‘hard to make a deal with’
This isn’t a reason to feel invisible — it’s permission to be free. To try new things. To take bold swings. Mess up in public.
Trump is already lowering the bar on China tariffs blasting President Xi as ‘hard to make a deal with’
Nobody’s tracking your flaws like you are. And that quiet freedom? It’s where growth begins.
Trump is already lowering the bar on China tariffs blasting President Xi as ‘hard to make a deal with’
People Show You Who They Are. Believe Them
Trump is already lowering the bar on China tariffs blasting President Xi as ‘hard to make a deal with’
People aren’t as mysterious as we think.
Trump is already lowering the bar on China tariffs blasting President Xi as ‘hard to make a deal with’
They reveal themselves through patterns — how they treat others, how they handle stress, how they talk when they’re angry, how they act when they have nothing to gain.
Trump is already lowering the bar on China tariffs blasting President Xi as ‘hard to make a deal with’
The problem is, we often ignore those signs. We rewrite stories, make excuses, and hope they’ll change.
Trump is already lowering the bar on China tariffs blasting President Xi as ‘hard to make a deal with’
But truth doesn’t live in promises ; it lives in behavior.
Trump is already lowering the bar on China tariffs blasting President Xi as ‘hard to make a deal with’
If someone keeps letting you down, pay attention.
Trump is already lowering the bar on China tariffs blasting President Xi as ‘hard to make a deal with’
If they consistently show up with love and integrity, believe that too. Don’t fall for potential. Watch the pattern. People show you who they are. Believe them the first time.
Trump is already lowering the bar on China tariffs blasting President Xi as ‘hard to make a deal with’
Keep One Promise to Yourself Every Day
Trump is already lowering the bar on China tariffs blasting President Xi as ‘hard to make a deal with’
We break promises to ourselves far more than we realize.
Trump is already lowering the bar on China tariffs blasting President Xi as ‘hard to make a deal with’
We say we’ll get up early, write the page, take the walk and then don’t. Over time, this chips away at our self-trust.
Trump is already lowering the bar on China tariffs blasting President Xi as ‘hard to make a deal with’
But here’s the fix: Keep one simple promise to yourself each day.
Trump is already lowering the bar on China tariffs blasting President Xi as ‘hard to make a deal with’
Drink a full glass of water. Journal for five minutes. Stretch. Read one page. Doesn’t matter what it is. What matters is your consistency.
Trump is already lowering the bar on China tariffs blasting President Xi as ‘hard to make a deal with’
Because every time you follow through, your brain says, “Hey, I can count on me.”
Trump is already lowering the bar on China tariffs blasting President Xi as ‘hard to make a deal with’
That feeling is the beginning of real confidence.
Trump is already lowering the bar on China tariffs blasting President Xi as ‘hard to make a deal with’
If Something Feels Wrong, It Probably Is
Trump is already lowering the bar on China tariffs blasting President Xi as ‘hard to make a deal with’
That weird feeling in your stomach? The tightness in your chest? The sudden hesitation you can’t explain? That’s not random.
Trump is already lowering the bar on China tariffs blasting President Xi as ‘hard to make a deal with’
It’s your gut — your built-in radar trying to protect you.
Trump is already lowering the bar on China tariffs blasting President Xi as ‘hard to make a deal with’
Long before logic kicks in, your body senses danger, dishonesty, or misalignment. But too often, we silence it.
Trump is already lowering the bar on China tariffs blasting President Xi as ‘hard to make a deal with’
We tell ourselves we’re overreacting, being dramatic, or imagining things.
Trump is already lowering the bar on China tariffs blasting President Xi as ‘hard to make a deal with’
We override the signal with politeness or fear of conflict. But your gut doesn’t lie.
Trump is already lowering the bar on China tariffs blasting President Xi as ‘hard to make a deal with’
If a job, relationship, offer, or decision feels wrong, pause. Pay attention.
Trump is already lowering the bar on China tariffs blasting President Xi as ‘hard to make a deal with’
That feeling is data. It’s wisdom. Trust it. It exists to keep you safe.
Trump is already lowering the bar on China tariffs blasting President Xi as ‘hard to make a deal with’
Being Liked Is Overrated
Trump is already lowering the bar on China tariffs blasting President Xi as ‘hard to make a deal with’
Trying to be liked by everyone is a trap that slowly erases who you really are.
Trump is already lowering the bar on China tariffs blasting President Xi as ‘hard to make a deal with’
You start editing yourself — saying what’s safe, doing what pleases others, hiding the parts that might make someone uncomfortable.
Trump is already lowering the bar on China tariffs blasting President Xi as ‘hard to make a deal with’
But the truth is, no matter what you do, someone won’t like you. That’s not failure. That’s being human.
Trump is already lowering the bar on China tariffs blasting President Xi as ‘hard to make a deal with’
Being liked is easy if you stay quiet and agreeable. Being real takes guts. It might cost you approval, but it earns you something better: respect, authenticity, and the right people in your corner.
Trump is already lowering the bar on China tariffs blasting President Xi as ‘hard to make a deal with’
Don’t water yourself down to fit in. Being liked is overrated. Being yourself isn’t.
Trump is already lowering the bar on China tariffs blasting President Xi as ‘hard to make a deal with’
Most Regret Is From What You Didn’t Do (請聽這首歌：I’d Rather Be Sorry)
Trump is already lowering the bar on China tariffs blasting President Xi as ‘hard to make a deal with’
When people look back on their lives, it’s not usually the things they did that haunt them. It’s the things they didn’t.
Trump is already lowering the bar on China tariffs blasting President Xi as ‘hard to make a deal with’
The words they never said. The trip they never took. The risk they were too afraid to chase. The dream they shelved. Missed moments echo louder than failed attempts.
Trump is already lowering the bar on China tariffs blasting President Xi as ‘hard to make a deal with’
We think playing it safe protects us, but it often builds a quiet prison of “what ifs.”
Trump is already lowering the bar on China tariffs blasting President Xi as ‘hard to make a deal with’
Regret grows in silence, in hesitation, in waiting for the perfect time. That time rarely comes.
Trump is already lowering the bar on China tariffs blasting President Xi as ‘hard to make a deal with’
So say the things you want to say. Take the leap. Try and fail. At least you’ll know. Do the scary thing now, so your older self doesn’t look back with aching what-ifs.
Trump is already lowering the bar on China tariffs blasting President Xi as ‘hard to make a deal with’
Do It for the Story
Trump is already lowering the bar on China tariffs blasting President Xi as ‘hard to make a deal with’
Most of life blurs into routine — the tasks, the schedules, the responsible choices. But the moments that stay with you, the ones that make you feel something years later, are always the stories.
Trump is already lowering the bar on China tariffs blasting President Xi as ‘hard to make a deal with’
The unplanned detour. The spontaneous “yes.” The night you laughed so hard your stomach hurt. These moments don’t come from playing it safe — they come from saying, “Screw it, let’s try.”
Trump is already lowering the bar on China tariffs blasting President Xi as ‘hard to make a deal with’
When you’re old, you won’t talk about how you cleared your inbox or paid your taxes on time.
Trump is already lowering the bar on China tariffs blasting President Xi as ‘hard to make a deal with’
You’ll remember the road trip you took on a whim. The speech you gave even though your voice cracked. The time you danced in the rain.
Trump is already lowering the bar on China tariffs blasting President Xi as ‘hard to make a deal with’
Life isn’t about being efficient. It’s about collecting stories.
Trump is already lowering the bar on China tariffs blasting President Xi as ‘hard to make a deal with’
You pay the price of who you associate with
Trump is already lowering the bar on China tariffs blasting President Xi as ‘hard to make a deal with’
You pay a price for who you allow into your life — sometimes slowly, sometimes all at once.
Trump is already lowering the bar on China tariffs blasting President Xi as ‘hard to make a deal with’
I learned this the hard way.
Trump is already lowering the bar on China tariffs blasting President Xi as ‘hard to make a deal with’
Associating with the wrong people doesn’t always look dangerous at first. It looks like compromise. Like excuses. Like ignoring red flags because you don’t want to seem rude or harsh.
Trump is already lowering the bar on China tariffs blasting President Xi as ‘hard to make a deal with’
But over time, their energy drains you. Their mindset infects yours. Their chaos becomes your stress.
Trump is already lowering the bar on China tariffs blasting President Xi as ‘hard to make a deal with’
You start tolerating things that go against your values. You shrink to keep the peace. And by the time you realize it, you’ve paid with your time, confidence, and clarity.
Trump is already lowering the bar on China tariffs blasting President Xi as ‘hard to make a deal with’
Being kind doesn’t mean being available to everyone.
Trump is already lowering the bar on China tariffs blasting President Xi as ‘hard to make a deal with’
Be brutally selective about who gets your energy. Because the wrong people cost more than you think — and the bill always comes due.
Trump is already lowering the bar on China tariffs blasting President Xi as ‘hard to make a deal with’
You’re One Tiny Habit Away from a New Life
Trump is already lowering the bar on China tariffs blasting President Xi as ‘hard to make a deal with’
Big life transformation doesn’t start with huge change. It start with one tiny habit.
Trump is already lowering the bar on China tariffs blasting President Xi as ‘hard to make a deal with’
One glass of water instead of soda. One walk around the block. One minute of deep breathing. One paragraph written each morning.
Trump is already lowering the bar on China tariffs blasting President Xi as ‘hard to make a deal with’
These habits often seem too small to matter — until they compound.
Trump is already lowering the bar on China tariffs blasting President Xi as ‘hard to make a deal with’
A single habit done daily rewires your brain, rebuilds your confidence, and shifts your identity.
Trump is already lowering the bar on China tariffs blasting President Xi as ‘hard to make a deal with’
You stop thinking, “I want to be healthy,” and start becoming the kind of person who is healthy.
Trump is already lowering the bar on China tariffs blasting President Xi as ‘hard to make a deal with’
That’s the magic. You don’t need a full plan. You need one small win, repeated daily.
Trump is already lowering the bar on China tariffs blasting President Xi as ‘hard to make a deal with’
That’s how new lives begin.
Trump is already lowering the bar on China tariffs blasting President Xi as ‘hard to make a deal with’
Trump is already lowering the bar on China tariffs blasting President Xi as ‘hard to make a deal with’
Written by Victor Mong
Trump is already lowering the bar on China tariffs blasting President Xi as ‘hard to make a deal with’
I write about human potential, building a life you want & mastering your mind || info.victormong@gmail.com
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