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8 Psychology “Truths” Everyone Believes (But Science Says Are Wrong)

“Truths” That Are Actually Complete Nonsense

Singh Bhai, 02/26/25

Some things just won’t die. Urban legends, bad fashion trends, your neighbor’s belief that their dog understands full sentences. And, of course, some myths which a whole lot of it is just nonsense.

Some of these myths are so baked into conversations that they feel true. Like, really feel true.

Here are eight of them like that

1. “Opposites Attract” (Yeah, in Sitcoms, Maybe)

Okay, so, if this one were actually real, half of Tinder would be a lot less miserable.

People love this idea — that two people who are complete opposites in every way will, against all odds, fall madly in love, teach each other valuable life lessons, and somehow make it work. Kind of like a rom-com, except with slightly more passive-aggressive arguments about how one person is a total slob and the other color-codes their fridge.

Studies show that people usually (as in, most of the time, nearly always, bet-your-house-on-it levels of “usually”) pick partners who share their values, habits, and even general outlook on life.

So, liking the same stuff and thinking about the world in similar ways tends to make things run a little smoother.

Opposites don’t attract. They irritate each other for a bit, maybe, but long-term it’s mostly just noise (Maybe is applied).

2. More Money = More Happiness (Forever)

Right, so, money does buy happiness. Let’s not be ridiculous.

The whole “money doesn’t matter” thing is something that rich people say while sipping hand-pressed coffee in a house with more bathrooms than occupants.

Studies show that happiness and financial security are very much linked — up to a point.

Source: visualcapitalist.com 請至原網頁觀看統計圖

Somewhere around $75,000 a year (which, given inflation, is probably looking more like “enough to not panic when your car makes a weird noise”).

Source: visualcapitals.com (Money Can Buy Happiness After All) 請至原網頁觀看統計圖

After that, The curve flattens. More money doesn’t necessarily make you happier, it just removes certain problems. Which is still great! But once you’ve hit that sweet spot where bills are paid, stress is lower, and you’re not stuck deciding between food or rent, money stops being a straight shot to bliss.

At that point, happiness comes from other things, like having friends, doing things you enjoy, and not being an insufferable human being.

3. Your Thoughts Are Always Your Own

Your brain is constantly stealing ideas in a way that makes you think your thoughts are original when they’re really just borrowed. Psychologists call this cryptomnesia — when you absorb information from books, conversations, social media, or some guy on a podcast and then later believe you came up with it yourself.

Your brain remembers the fact but not where it came from and it’s called source amnesia.

Now apply that to news headlines, social media, and advertising. If you see the same message repeated over and over, it doesn’t just influence your thinking — it becomes part of your internal dialogue. You think you formed that opinion, but in reality, your brain just picked up whatever it was fed the most.

4. Willpower Is the Key to Success

Some people think willpower is like it’s some kind of internal fuel tank — either you have enough of it to succeed, or you don’t. If you’re struggling? Just try harder.

Except, that’s not how human behavior works.

First, let’s talk about ego depletion — the idea that willpower is a finite resource that runs out the more you use it.

Ever notice how sticking to a diet is easy in the morning but by nighttime, you’re inhaling a family-sized bag of chips? That’s not just bad choices — it’s mental exhaustion. Your brain gets tired of self-control, especially when it’s constantly being tested.

Here’s the secret: your brain loves routines. It craves them. Once a behavior is wired into a habit loop — cue → action → reward — it stops requiring willpower at all.

A study from Duke University (Wood et al., 2002) found that about 45% of our daily actions are automatic habits, not conscious decisions. That means almost half of what you do every day isn’t based on willpower — it’s just routine.

So you don’t need to try harder, you need to change your habits so that good choices happen without thinking.

5. Your Brain Stops Changing After Childhood

Wouldn’t it be nice if your brain just settled down after childhood, locked in all the good habits, and stopped pulling weird tricks on you? Unfortunately, that’s not how this thing works.

Your brain isn’t some freshly poured cement that dries by the time you hit your teenage years.

Neuroscientists have spent years proving that neuroplasticity — the brain’s ability to rewire itself — is not just some childhood feature that disappears once you hit puberty.

When you learn new skills, Your brain builds new pathways, and when You stop using certain skills your brain forgets them (RIP high school algebra).

The point is, that you can keep learning, adapting, and changing no matter how old you are. So if you were planning on using the “I’m too old to change” excuse, maybe you can reconsider it again.

6. Talking About Trauma Makes It Worse

Right, so, shoving feelings into a metaphorical basement and hoping they just die of neglect is Not a great plan.

There’s this weird belief that talking about painful experiences somehow gives them power, like saying Voldemort’s name. Except, what actually happens when you refuse to deal with stuff is it sits there and festers.

Studies show that avoiding trauma makes it worse while processing it — Maybe through therapy, journaling, or talking to someone who isn’t a houseplant — actually helps your brain make sense of it.

Bottling up emotions doesn’t make them go away. It just turns them into anxiety, insomnia, and weirdly intense reactions to things that shouldn’t set you off.

7. Cognitive Dissonance Only Happens to Irrational People

If this were true, no one on earth would own a gym membership and not use it.

Cognitive dissonance is an uncomfortable feeling you get when your actions don’t match up with your beliefs.

Like, say, when you buy organic groceries but also eat an entire sleeve of Oreos in one sitting. Or when you preach about budgeting and then somehow convince yourself that this impulse purchase is totally different.

It’s not an “irrational people” problem. It’s an everyone problem. Brains hate contradictions, so they do all sorts of mental gymnastics to explain why what they’re doing makes sense — even when it really, really doesn’t.

That is why people will convince themselves that they liked something just because they suffered for it.

8. Smell isn’t connected to memory

The smell is one of the strongest memory triggers because it’s processed in the same part of the brain that deals with emotions and long-term recollections.

That’s why something as simple as a familiar scent — freshly cut grass, an old book, your ex’s perfume — can send you straight back to a moment in time, way more vividly than a picture ever could, or at least cause a Dejavu effect.

That’s why going into a musty basement always reminds you of your grandma’s house.

Wait a Sec

I share insights like this every 2–3/week — ones that actually change how you think in my newsletter (TheOpenBook). Don’t miss the next one.

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10種保護自己的心態-V. Mong
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我忘了在初中或高中讀的《儒林外史》；故事已經記不得了。全書中我現在只記得下面這一句話：

「不要做個爛忠厚的爛好人。」(大意如此)。

1975 – 1985間，我讀了《我說「不」時，會覺得難為情》(1975)。我從這本書學到的，可以用上面這句話來概括。

下文提供了實踐這個簡單道理的方法。

10 Things You Need to Teach People About Yourself to Protect Your Peace and Assert Your Worth

You decide how the world interacts with you.

Victor Mong, 01/31/25

Every day, in every interaction, you’re teaching people how to treat you, whether you realize it or not.

You set the standard for how others behave toward you by what you tolerate, what you reinforce, and what you ignore.

If you don’t define who you are and what you stand for, people will decide for you—and often, in ways that diminish your worth.

Here are ten things you must teach people about yourself—lessons that will shape the way they see you, interact with you, and value you.

When Someone is Audacious with Their Disrespect, You Have the Right to Be Courageous with Your Boundaries

There’s a dangerous idea floating around that kindness is always the right response.

That if someone mistreats you, the noble thing to do is to “be the bigger person.” The truth is when someone is bold in their disrespect, you have every right to be bold in defending yourself.

Many people struggle with this because they’ve been conditioned to believe that setting boundaries makes them unkind. But that’s a lie.

If someone spits in your face—literally or metaphorically—and you continue smiling, you aren’t being kind. You’re being complicit.

Respect isn’t automatic. It’s earned, maintained, and reciprocated. If someone treats you with contempt, they’re showing you exactly how much they value you.

It’s not your job to fix them or to absorb their negativity in the name of being “nice.” It’s your job to make it clear that actions have consequences.

This doesn’t mean you should become vengeful or cruel. It means you should have a firm understanding of your worth.

You don’t owe respect to someone who has thrown theirs in the trash. If they push you, push back—not with aggression, but with conviction.

Boundaries are a declaration of self-respect. Teach people that crossing them comes at a cost.

Your Time Is Valuable—Act Like It

Time is not money. It’s far more precious than that. Money can be regained; time cannot.

Yet, people will try to waste yours without a second thought.

If you don’t guard your time, others will treat it as if it belongs to them.

They will demand your attention for trivial matters, drag you into meaningless drama, and expect you to prioritize their needs over your own.

If someone doesn’t respect your time, you don’t owe them yours.

Teach people that your time is not free. If they want it, they need to bring something valuable in return—whether it’s respect, reciprocity, or a purpose that aligns with your own.

You Are Not Responsible for Other People’s Perceptions of You

You could be the most honest, kind, and competent person in the room, and someone will still misunderstand you.

They will project their insecurities onto you, twist your words, and form opinions that have nothing to do with reality.

That’s not, and should never be, your problem.

People see you through the lens of their own experiences.

Their judgment is shaped by their biases, past wounds, and limited understanding.

You cannot control how they perceive you, nor should you try. The only thing you can control is how you live.

Stop living for approval. Speak your truth. Stand your ground.

The right people will see you clearly. The wrong ones were never meant to understand you in the first place.

Your Silence Is Not Weakness—It’s a Weapon

People assume that if you don’t respond to their provocations, you’re weak.

That if you don’t explain yourself, justify your decisions, or argue back, you have nothing to say.

But in reality, silence is often the most powerful response.

Why? Because it denies the other person control.

When someone insults you, they want a reaction. When they lie about you, they want you to defend yourself.

They thrive on your energy, your attention, your distress. But if you give them nothing? They lose power.

Silence is strategic. It says, “I do not owe you my energy.” It forces the other person to sit with their own words.

Sometimes, the loudest thing you can say is nothing at all.

You Are Not Obligated to Carry Other People’s Burdens

It’s good to be compassionate. It’s good to help those in need. But there’s a fine line between support and self-sacrifice, and too many people cross it without realizing.

Self-sacrifice is not a requirement for kindness.

Too many people mistake being supportive for being responsible.

They absorb the emotional weight of others, believing it’s their duty to fix, rescue, or carry those who refuse to carry themselves.

You’re not responsible to bear the burdens that are not yours. You’re not a therapist, an emotional punching bag, or a dumping ground for their problems.

You have your own life to live.

Yes, you can help. Yes, you can offer guidance, encouragement, and support. But lending a hand and allowing yourself to be weighed down are not the same.

Some people don’t want solutions; they want a place to unload their problems indefinitely. They expect you to carry their pain, their mistakes, their irresponsibility while making no effort to change.

But your energy is not infinite

You can’t set yourself on fire to keep others warm. There’s no nobility in self-destruction.

Teach people that while you care, you will not be their emotional crutch. Let them know that you’ll help when you can, but not at the expense of your own well-being.

If they want support, they must also take responsibility for their own healing.

You Have the Right to Change

People will try to keep you the same. Not because they care about you, but because your growth threatens their comfort.

The moment you evolve, you force others to question themselves.

If you improve, they must confront why they haven’t.

If you raise your standards, they must decide whether they can rise with you. And many people don’t want to do that work.

So what do they do? They’ll resist your change. They’ll remind you of who you used to be. Mock your ambitions. Accuse you of “changing too much. But that’s their fear speaking, not truth.

Change is not betrayal. Growth is not abandonment. You’re not obligated to stay the person others are familiar with, especially if that version of you no longer serves your future.

Teach people that you’ll not stay small for their sake.

You have the right to outgrow mindsets, habits, and even relationships that no longer align with who you are becoming.

You don’t have to apologize for evolving.

Change is a sign that you are alive, learning, and becoming more of who you were meant to be. So go for it.

If they cannot handle your growth, they’re welcome to respectfully step aside. Those who truly value you will grow with you.

Not Everyone Deserves Access to You

Some people assume that just because they want your attention, they should have it.

That just because they demand your energy, you should give it. But access to you is a privilege, not a right.

You’re not obligated to entertain every conversation, engage with every critic, or be available at all times.

Your energy is sacred. Choose who gets to share it.

Teach people that if they want a place in your life, they must earn it through respect, consistency, and mutual value.

You’re Allowed to Walk Away from Toxic People

Loyalty is a virtue, but not when it chains you to people who drain, manipulate, or mistreat you.

Too often, we stay in harmful relationships, friendships, and workplaces because we feel guilty for leaving.

We tell ourselves that walking away means we’re selfish, ungrateful, or weak. But the truth is, walking away is sometimes the bravest thing you can do.

You’re not obligated to keep people in your life simply because of shared history.

If someone consistently disrespects you, disregards your feelings, or poisons your peace, you have every right to remove yourself from their presence.

Love is not proven through endurance. Respect is not demonstrated through suffering.

Toxic people thrive on your hesitation. They count on your fear of hurting them, your reluctance to set boundaries, and your habit of giving second chances.

But you’re not responsible for fixing them. You’re responsible for protecting your own well-being.

So walk away without guilt. Walking away is not betrayal; it”s survival.

Protect your energy.

Choose environments where you’re valued, not drained.

Teach people that if they want you to stay, they need to be worth staying for.

The people who truly care for you will never require you to destroy yourself for their comfort.

Your Dreams Are Yours—You Don’t Need Permission to Pursue Them

Your dreams belong to you. Not to your family, not to society, not to the people who doubt you. And because they’re yours, you don’t need permission to chase them.

Too often, people seek approval before they dare to pursue what truly excites them.

They wait for validation, for a sign, for someone to say, “Yes, you are allowed to do this.”

But what if that permission never comes? Will you let your dreams die just because others don’t see your vision?

Understand this: most people who discourage you aren’t against you—they’re just afraid.

Afraid of failure, afraid of change, afraid of the unknown. They’ll tell you that your dreams are too big, too risky, too impractical.

But their fears don’t have to become yours. Their doubts have nothing to do with your potential.

If your dream excites you, pursue it. If it keeps you awake at night, work for it. If it makes you feel alive, fight for it.

Teach people that you’ll not let their limitations become your own. That you’ll chase what sets your soul on fire, whether they approve or not.

You were not born to live a life of hesitation. Stop waiting. You do not need permission to become who you were meant to be.

You’ll Not Apologize for Being Who You Are

The world will always have opinions about you—how you should act, what you should believe, and even who you should become.

From the moment you start thinking for yourself, there will be people who feel entitled to correct you, to mold you into something that makes them more comfortable.

But you don’t owe anyone an apology for being who you are.

Your personality, your ambitions, your values are not up for debate.

If you’re honest, strong-willed, and unwilling to shrink to fit someone else’s expectations, that’s not something to feel guilty about.

If your presence is too bold for some, that’s their discomfort to manage, not yours.

Too many people waste their lives apologizing for their intelligence, their emotions, their confidence.

They shrink themselves to be more likable, more agreeable, more acceptable. But you’re not here to be small.

You’re here to take up space. To stand firm in your identity. To refuse to be tamed by the fears and insecurities of others.

You’re here to be exactly who you are—boldly, unapologetically, and without regret.

Teach people that you’ll not apologize for your strength, your intelligence, or your ambition.

You’ll not make yourself less to make others comfortable.

You are here to live—not to be controlled.

And that is something the world must learn.

Final Thoughts

You decide how the world interacts with you.

If you let others overstep your boundaries, they’ll.

If you allow toxic people to stay, they’ll drain you.

If you fail to assert your worth, people will assume you have none.

But the opposite is also true. If you demand respect, you’ll receive it.

If you make it clear that your time, energy, and dreams are valuable, people will treat them that way.

If you walk away from what no longer serves you, you make room for what does.

Teaching people about yourself is not just about setting rules. It’s about shaping the life you want to live.

Because at the end of the day, the world will treat you exactly as you teach it to.

Written by Victor Mong

I write about human potential, building a life you want & mastering your mind || info.victormong@gmail.com

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13 Pieces of Advice I’ve Found to Be Consistently True And Can Change Your Life For Real

You don’t need more motivation. You need truth bombs. These are the ones worth remembering forever.

Victor Mong, 05/06/25

Most advice on the internet is like fast food. It tastes good for two minutes, but it doesn’t stick to your bones. It doesn’t change your actions, and it definitely doesn’t change your life.

But once in a while, if you’re lucky or paying close enough attention , you come across advice so real, so raw, that it smacks you awake.

I’ve been collecting these over the last 10 years. Scribbled in notebooks. Saved in tweets. Whispered to me by mentors over cheap coffee.

These 13 ideas have shifted how I live. Maybe they’ll do the same for you.

You Won’t Be Unlucky Every Day

A mentor once told me:

“You can’t be unlucky for 365 days straight.”

He wasn’t trying to make me feel better. He was pointing to something deeper.

If you show up every day, whether you’re tired, bored, or scared doesn’t matter — something will break in your favor at some point.

Life has a weird way of rewarding persistence. It’s rarely fair, but it’s never random.

One day you’ll wake up and realize you’re standing on a goldmine. You didn’t see it because you were too busy digging. That’s what showing up does.

The Person You Marry Will Be Your Life’s Loudest Echo

Not your job. Not your dreams. Not your bank account.

Your partner is your life’s megaphone. They amplify your joy or your stress. They shape the rhythm of your everyday life more than any other decision you’ll ever make.

When life gets hard (and it will), their energy becomes your environment.

If they believe in your crazy ideas, you’ll have the courage to chase them. If they constantly doubt or drain you, you’ll slowly shrink into someone you don’t recognize.

Love isn’t enough. So choose carefully as if your life depends on it. Because it does.

Rejection Is Redirection

Rejection feels like a punch in the stomach. It makes you question your worth, your path, your timing.

But 90% of the time, rejection is not a dead-end. It’s a detour. It’s life saying: “Not this door. Try the next one.”

That job you didn’t get? Maybe it would’ve burned you out. That person who ghosted you? They lacked the depth to love you fully.

That dream that fizzled? It made space for a better one to take root.

Life removes what’s not meant for you, even when you don’t understand why in the moment.

Rejection doesn’t mean you’re not good enough. It means there’s a better fit — and you’re being guided to it, like it or not.

Everyone Is Afraid. The Winners Just Act Anyway

Fear is the most common emotion in the world. Everyone feels it — the authors, the CEOs, the athletes, the artists.

Everyone you admire — they’re scared too. The difference is what they do with it.

They don’t wait to feel brave. They move with it. They do it anyway.

They launch the business while doubting themselves. They stand on stage while their knees shake and their throat tightens. They post the video even though they cringe. They move forward while their mind is screaming, “You’re not ready.”

Courage isn’t about feeling ready. It’s about showing up when you’re not. It’s quiet. It’s lonely. It’s messy.

But it’s what builds momentum. Fear is normal. Freezing is optional. Movement is everything.

Most People Don’t Care. That’s Good News

Most of people live like there’s a spotlight on them — like every mistake, misstep, or awkward moment is being watched and judged.

That’s not true.

People are way too caught up in their own lives to care. They’re worried about their jobs, their bills, their insecurities.

That outfit you felt weird in? Forgotten. That speech you stumbled through? Barely noticed.

This isn’t a reason to feel invisible — it’s permission to be free. To try new things. To take bold swings. Mess up in public.

Nobody’s tracking your flaws like you are. And that quiet freedom? It’s where growth begins.

People Show You Who They Are. Believe Them

People aren’t as mysterious as we think.

They reveal themselves through patterns — how they treat others, how they handle stress, how they talk when they’re angry, how they act when they have nothing to gain.

The problem is, we often ignore those signs. We rewrite stories, make excuses, and hope they’ll change.

But truth doesn’t live in promises ; it lives in behavior.

If someone keeps letting you down, pay attention.

If they consistently show up with love and integrity, believe that too. Don’t fall for potential. Watch the pattern. People show you who they are. Believe them the first time.

Keep One Promise to Yourself Every Day

We break promises to ourselves far more than we realize.

We say we’ll get up early, write the page, take the walk and then don’t. Over time, this chips away at our self-trust.

But here’s the fix: Keep one simple promise to yourself each day.

Drink a full glass of water. Journal for five minutes. Stretch. Read one page. Doesn’t matter what it is. What matters is your consistency.

Because every time you follow through, your brain says, “Hey, I can count on me.”

That feeling is the beginning of real confidence.

If Something Feels Wrong, It Probably Is

That weird feeling in your stomach? The tightness in your chest? The sudden hesitation you can’t explain? That’s not random.

It’s your gut — your built-in radar trying to protect you.

Long before logic kicks in, your body senses danger, dishonesty, or misalignment. But too often, we silence it.

We tell ourselves we’re overreacting, being dramatic, or imagining things.

We override the signal with politeness or fear of conflict. But your gut doesn’t lie.

If a job, relationship, offer, or decision feels wrong, pause. Pay attention.

That feeling is data. It’s wisdom. Trust it. It exists to keep you safe.

Being Liked Is Overrated

Trying to be liked by everyone is a trap that slowly erases who you really are.

You start editing yourself — saying what’s safe, doing what pleases others, hiding the parts that might make someone uncomfortable.

But the truth is, no matter what you do, someone won’t like you. That’s not failure. That’s being human.

Being liked is easy if you stay quiet and agreeable. Being real takes guts. It might cost you approval, but it earns you something better: respect, authenticity, and the right people in your corner.

Don’t water yourself down to fit in. Being liked is overrated. Being yourself isn’t.

Most Regret Is From What You Didn’t Do (請聽這首歌：I’d Rather Be Sorry)

When people look back on their lives, it’s not usually the things they did that haunt them. It’s the things they didn’t.

The words they never said. The trip they never took. The risk they were too afraid to chase. The dream they shelved. Missed moments echo louder than failed attempts.

We think playing it safe protects us, but it often builds a quiet prison of “what ifs.”

Regret grows in silence, in hesitation, in waiting for the perfect time. That time rarely comes.

So say the things you want to say. Take the leap. Try and fail. At least you’ll know. Do the scary thing now, so your older self doesn’t look back with aching what-ifs.

Do It for the Story

Most of life blurs into routine — the tasks, the schedules, the responsible choices. But the moments that stay with you, the ones that make you feel something years later, are always the stories.

The unplanned detour. The spontaneous “yes.” The night you laughed so hard your stomach hurt. These moments don’t come from playing it safe — they come from saying, “Screw it, let’s try.”

When you’re old, you won’t talk about how you cleared your inbox or paid your taxes on time.

You’ll remember the road trip you took on a whim. The speech you gave even though your voice cracked. The time you danced in the rain.

Life isn’t about being efficient. It’s about collecting stories.

You pay the price of who you associate with

You pay a price for who you allow into your life — sometimes slowly, sometimes all at once.

I learned this the hard way.

Associating with the wrong people doesn’t always look dangerous at first. It looks like compromise. Like excuses. Like ignoring red flags because you don’t want to seem rude or harsh.

But over time, their energy drains you. Their mindset infects yours. Their chaos becomes your stress.

You start tolerating things that go against your values. You shrink to keep the peace. And by the time you realize it, you’ve paid with your time, confidence, and clarity.

Being kind doesn’t mean being available to everyone.

Be brutally selective about who gets your energy. Because the wrong people cost more than you think — and the bill always comes due.

You’re One Tiny Habit Away from a New Life

Big life transformation doesn’t start with huge change. It start with one tiny habit.

One glass of water instead of soda. One walk around the block. One minute of deep breathing. One paragraph written each morning.

These habits often seem too small to matter — until they compound.

A single habit done daily rewires your brain, rebuilds your confidence, and shifts your identity.

You stop thinking, “I want to be healthy,” and start becoming the kind of person who is healthy.

That’s the magic. You don’t need a full plan. You need one small win, repeated daily.

That’s how new lives begin.

Written by Victor Mong

I write about human potential, building a life you want & mastering your mind || info.victormong@gmail.com

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