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女性「性福學」 -- Kaitlin Reilly
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下文重點在說明：
1) 隨著年齡增加和夫妻/伴侶關係時間的增長，女性的「性趣」可能降低。
2) 介紹可能幫助提高女性「性趣」的藥物和生活習慣。
一邊學英文，一邊了解性福科普；何樂而不為！
Libido lessons: Everything you need to know about your sex drive
Kaitlin Reilly, 12/06/23
Libido, or sex drive, may seem like something people are just born with — either you have a high sex drive, or you don’t. Yet many things can have an impact on one’s libido, from physical issues to mental health. Here’s a guide to the terms you need to know.
What is libido?
Libido refers to one’s sexual appetite or drive, according to VerywellHealth. It isn’t something that can be measured with a test, and is instead all about how you feel. While some people may have higher or lower libidos overall, it’s important to note that libido can change due to many factors, from environmental and emotional stressors to physical issues. There’s also no right or wrong amount of sexual appetite.
“People are different, and it is hard to quantify how much people should be having sex, as sexuality is still being uncovered in science,” sex therapist Deb Laino previously told Yahoo Life. “What we know is there is really no such thing as 'normal.'”
Spontaneous desire
Pop culture suggests that desire is instant — as in, you simply look or even think about your partner and want to have sex. This is called “spontaneous desire,” and it’s much more likely to happen during the early days of your relationship, explains Laurie Mintz, a sexual psychologist and author of the book Becoming Cliterate: Why Orgasm Equality Matters — and How to Get It. That’s thanks to the biochemical event known as the “limerence phase,” which is essentially when you’re totally obsessed with your new person. Mintz notes that the phase really lasts only six months to two years, though, which means you may feel a shift in desire toward your partner, even if everything is otherwise OK in your relationship.
Responsive desire
Not everyone feels spontaneous desire, however. While some people may assume that a lack of spontaneous desire means they have a low sex drive, it’s possible they may simply need to take a different route to feeling ready for sex. In fact, Mintz says that many individuals, especially women in long-term relationships, stop feeling spontaneous desire — and therefore, stop having sexual encounters.
But you don’t have to give up having sex just because you don’t feel spontaneously in the mood. Enter “responsive desire,” which Mintz says is “equally legitimate.” Responsive desire is when someone is not eager in the moment to have sex, “but is open to the idea of sex for other reasons, [such as] knowing it will be good once it gets going or [that] they will feel closer to their partner.”
You can tap into your responsive desire by mentally and physically preparing yourself for a sexual encounter — by touching yourself, using a sex toy or kissing your partner — and waiting for the positive sexual feelings to come.
Asexuality
It’s important not to confuse low libido for asexuality, which is a type of sexual orientation in which a person experiences low or no sexual attraction.
“An asexual person does not experience sexual attraction — they are not drawn to people sexually and do not desire to act upon attraction to others in a sexual way,” explains the website for the Asexual Visibility and Education Network. “Unlike celibacy, which is a choice to abstain from sexual activity, asexuality is an intrinsic part of who we are, just like other sexual orientations.”
Options for low libido in women
Medical intervention can sometimes help women who are concerned about their lower libido. However, it’s important to note that it’s not usually the first option, as low sex drive can have a large range of causes, such as psychological issues like past trauma or even health issues like vaginismus. Once those are ruled out, a doctor may work with you to find a medical treatment that can help boost your libido.
Addyi
Flibanserin, the brand name for which is Addyi, has been approved by the Food and Drug Administration only for premenopausal women. Clinical studies show that after eight to 12 weeks it does boost the desire to have sex, according to Dr. Lauren Streicher, professor of obstetrics and gynecology at Northwestern University’s Feinberg School of Medicine. The medication must be taken daily and works by addressing the neurotransmitters that play a role in sexual desire; it’s not an instant fix.
Vyleesi
Vyleesi, the brand name of bremelanotide, is also FDA-approved to help women with low libido. However, unlike Addyi, Vyleesi is an on-demand drug that works via injection into the thigh or abdomen within 45 minutes. According to Verywell Health, Vyleesi is a melanocortin receptor that works by activating “certain natural substances in the brain that affect mood and thinking.”
Testosterone
While testosterone is not FDA-approved for the purpose of increasing one’s sex drive, Streicher tells Yahoo Life that testosterone can be safe and effective, as long as you go to a practitioner who can get the dosage correct “so you don’t get side effects or hair growth and acne.”
“You don’t want to borrow your male partner’s testosterone, as women need about one-tenth of testosterone levels,” she notes.
You may have heard that oysters are an aphrodisiac. The reason? Oysters are high in zinc, a crucial trace mineral for testosterone production. Shellfish like clams and crabs are also high in the mineral, as are cashews, beans, tofu and leafy greens.
Libido gummies and supplements
You may have seen products on the market like libido gummies that claim to give your sex drive a boost. Sometimes products contain ingredients that can support feelings of relaxation, such as ashwagandha. L-arginine, an amino acid that helps keep blood vessels open, is also popular in libido supplements. However, experts are skeptical that they can really do much for the libido.
Dr. Tiffany Pham, an ob-gyn and a medical adviser for female health app Flo Health, previously told Yahoo Life that though there is some “promising research” on certain supplements, studies are “limited in their scope and their ability to be applied to a broader patient population.” Before taking any supplement, you should consult with your doctor to see if it's right for you, especially if you are already taking medications that may interact.
Orgasmic disorder, or anorgasmia
In women, orgasmic disorder, or anorgasmia, refers to “delayed, infrequent or absent orgasms — or significantly less-intense orgasms — after sexual arousal and adequate sexual stimulation,” per the Mayo Clinic.
There are many reasons why orgasm may be elusive, even if you are sufficiently aroused and want to have sex. That can include medications, such as selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs). Pain disorders associated with sex, such as dyspareunia, or painful intercourse, or vaginismus, in which penetration is painful due to involuntary contracting of the vaginal muscles, can make it challenging to orgasm as well. Psychological issues, especially when one feels a sense of shame around sex, can also be a factor.
One way sex therapists treat orgasmic disorder is by encouraging their patients to practice masturbation techniques before they try sex with a partner.
“The most essential step to orgasm with a partner is getting the same type of stimulation as you get alone,” Mintz previously told Yahoo Life. “Women who bridge that gap are more orgasmic with a partner. I often tell my clients that there is no masturbation technique that can't be transferred to partner sex with creativity and communication.”
Hyposexual desire disorder and female sexual interest/arousal disorder
Some women want to have sex, but struggle to experience desire. This was previously defined as hyposexual desire disorder, or HSDD, but the diagnosis was removed from the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders in 2013. Since then, it has been replaced with the diagnosis of female sexual interest/arousal disorder (FSIAD). Some therapists, however, still use the term, while others, such as Mintz, prefer to use terms like “diminished desire” to describe individuals who struggle with a lack of sex drive.
As with anorgasmia, there are many things that can impact a woman’s sexual desire, be it the use of certain medications, physical issues or psychological blocks. However, some women may think they have diminished desire, when in reality, they are simply moving from spontaneous desire to responsive desire.
“It’s normative for one’s desire to decrease both with age and the length of a relationship,” Mintz says. “A lot of people don’t know that, and they say, ‘Oh, my gosh, what’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with my relationship?’ But if more people knew this, they would be less upset.”
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性熱點：必讀性愛寶典 ------ Martha Kempner
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下文雖以女性讀者為主，但男性有義務了解和學習：如何更能取悅妻子或女朋友。請慢慢研究。
索引：
come-hither：挑逗的，勾引的
G-spot：性熱點或性熱區；能快速導致性高潮的「點」或「部位」。
lube：lubricant 簡寫，潤滑油、潤滑劑；塗潤滑油或潤滑劑
squirting：潮噴
6 fascinating facts about the G-spot, including how to find it
Martha Kempner, Sexual Health Expert, 11/02/23
No one has ever doubted the existence of your elbow or left pinky toe. Even internal body parts that can’t be readily seen enjoy universal acceptance; you take it on faith that your kidneys are there.
But the G-spot is different precisely because people, including experts, don’t agree on whether it actually exists. But those who do say it’s the key to some powerful orgasms.
Here’s what you need to know about this hotly contested issue to help you make up your own mind about your own body.
No. 1: G-zone might be more accurate than G-spot.
In the 1940s, the German doctor Ernst Grafenberg said he found an area of the vagina that felt different to the touch and was important to female orgasms. Years later, sexologist Beverly Whipple named it the “G-spot” after him, but that might not be fair since the area was first described in 11th century Indian texts.
Researchers also question whether the term is accurate because there is no one spot in the vagina that could be given this name. A 2022 article suggested that we call it the G-zone because there are actually “five separate erotogenic tissues that function in a similar way to the G-spot.”
No. 2: It’s most likely part of the clitoris, but researchers still aren’t sure.
The original theories about the G-spot were that it might be analogous to the male prostate gland or possibly the head of the penis because it consists of erectile tissue and swells when aroused. Since then, we’ve learned a lot about the clitoris (which also contains erectile tissue) and have begun to understand that the pearl-like button nestled in your vulva is only the tip of a complicated root system that runs deep under the vaginal walls. Many experts believe that the G-spot ties into that clitoral root system.
But the clitoris may only be part of the picture (granted, an important one) as to why stimulating the G-spot can feel good. Debby Herbenick, director of the Center for Sexual Health Promotion at Indiana University and author of Read My Lips, tells Yahoo Life: “My own reading of the literature suggests that the reason stimulation of the G-spot area feels good to so many people is that people are stimulating the clitorourethrovaginal (CUV) complex” — a larger area that includes “dynamic interactions” between the clitoris, urethra and uterus. “These parts are all closely configured,” she says. “There’s an interplay or a dance, if you will, and it can be beautiful and feel really good to some people.”
No. 3: Researchers and women do agree on where to find it.
Luckily, there is agreement on where to look for your G-spot: the front wall of the vagina about two inches in. Amy Levine, sex coach and founder of Ignite Your Pleasure, suggests that fingers are a great tool for exploring this erogenous area, especially the first time.
“If you lie on your back, you or your partner can insert two well-lubed fingers into your vagina facing the belly button side of your body, then curl the fingers in a come-hither motion.”
This area is near the urethra, and some say pushing on it makes them feel like they have to pee. Take that as a sign that you’re in the right place and keep applying gentle pressure, if comfortable.
The area swells up when you’re aroused, making it easier to find, so you can also wait until you’re a little turned on to start exploring. And, as Levine says, don’t forget the lube, which makes all penetration feel better.
No. 4: A G-spot orgasm will probably feel different from the classic clitoral climax.
Women often describe G-spot orgasms as more intense and deeper in the body than orgasms from other types of stimulation. This is backed up by MRI studies that show different areas of the brain lighting up when the vagina is being stimulated versus the clitoris.
It’s also likely that G-spot orgasms are the source of female ejaculation and squirting, which is when liquid comes out of the urethra before or during orgasm. While it’s a staple of porn, there’s a lot of debate about what squirting is and how many women experience it.
No. 5: Certain toys and positions can help you explore your G-spot.
Whether you’ve found your G-spot and want to explore further or you’re still looking, there are many ways to play. Those having penis (or strap-on) in vagina sex, can try positions that put pressure on the front wall of the vagina like doggie style or straddling your partner in a cowgirl position. If you’re on top, you can circle your hips to find the zone.
There are also tons of sex toys that are specifically designed for G-spot stimulation. Look for dildos and vibrators that are curved and insert them with the curve facing up toward your belly button.
No. 6: Don’t worry if you can’t find your G-spot or don’t like the orgasms it provides
There’s no pressure to find your G-spot or to enjoy how stimulating it feels. As Herbenick reminds us, “G-spot exploration is just one of many, many ways that people can explore their own or their partner’s body. If it’s not someone’s particular turn-on, that’s OK.”
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