[ROXIE] Sometime's I'm right Sometime's I'm wrong But he doesn't care He'll string along He loves me so That funny honey of mine
Sometime's I'm down Sometime's I'm up But he follows 'round Like some droopy-eyed pup He love me so That funny honey of mine
He ain't no sheik That's no great physique And Lord knows, he ain't got the smarts
But look at that soul I tell you, the whole Is a whole lot greater than The sum of his parts
And if you knew him like me I know you'd agree What if the world Slandered my name? Why, he'd be right there Taking the blame
He loves me so And it all suits me fine That funny, sunny, honey Hubby of mine
[AMOS (Spoken)] I mean supposin', just supposin', he had violated her or somethin'...you know what I mean... viloated?
[FOGARTY (Spoken)] I know what you mean...
[AMOS (Spoken)] ...or somethin'. Think how terrible that would have been. It's a good thing I came home from work on time, I'm tellin' ya that! I say I'm tellin' ya that!
[ROXIE] He loves me so That funny honey of mine
[FOGARTY (Spoken)] Name of deceased... Fred Casely.
[AMOS (Spoken)] Fred Casely. How could he be a burglar? My wife knows him! He sold us our furniture! He gave us 10 percent off
[ROXIE] Lord knows he ain't got the smarts
[AMOS (Spoken)] You told me he was a burglar!
[FOGARTY (Spoken)] You mean he was dead when you got home?
[AMOS (Spoken)] She had him covered with a sheet and she's tellin' me that cock and bull story abou this burglar, and how I ought to say I did it 'cause I was sure to get off. "Help me, Amos" she says it's my goddamn hour of needs.
[ROXIE] Now, he shot off his trap I can't stand that sap
Look at him go Rattin' on me With just one more brain What a half-wit he'd be
If they string me up I'll know who Brought the twine
That scummy, crummy Dummy hubby of mine!
[AMOS (Spoken)] And I believed her! That cheap little tramp. So, she's two-timing me, huh? Well I'm through for protecting her now, she can swing for all I care. Boy, I'm down at the garage, Working my butt off fourteen hours a day and she's up mucnhin' on bon bons and tramping around like some goddamn floozy. Thought you could pull a war by I wasn't born yet I tell you there's something a man just can't take This time she pushed me too far. That little chiseler. Boy, what a sap I was!